One day they may be calling you, so be ready and learn what it means

¡Hey Compadre! Photos

Whether you live in Oaxaca or vacation here on a regular basis, if you've begun to integrate into the community, eventually you'll be asked to be a padrino or madrina (godparent) to an ahijado or ahijada (godchild), so you'd better familiarize yourself with "compadrazgo," or co-godparenthood. In a nutshell, it's a web of mutual rights and obligations of monumental importance throughout Mexico and elsewhere, both in urban centers and rural communities, cutting across and permeating virtually all socio-economic strata. One chooses who will be his or her lifetime compadres, the cornerstone of compadrazgo.

If someone is asked to be a padrino of a child upon baptism, it creates a new bond between two families, solidified by the creation of compadres. The parents and grandparents of the child become compadres to the padrinos (at times extending to their children…i.e. compadritos.) While family members are frequently asked to be padrinos, often friends, neighbors and business acquaintances are selected, as a means of strengthening ties that already exist. Academic writings, confirmed by my personal experience, suggest that while, as a godparent you have lifelong obligations to your godchild that may or may not ever be called upon, it's the ties between compadres that can come into play on a regular basis.

Let's examine other occasions when you might find yourself asked to be a godparent, the obligations that may fall upon you at the time and, finally, how your new status as a compadre manifests, and keeps on ticking. Why you and not someone else? To understand we must look at the pool of prospective choices from which you may be selected. My perspective may appear cynical, but is fact based and proven, using a functionalism model.

Godparents are selected for both religious and secular rites of passage, for godchildren ranging from infant to adult. In Oaxaca, the most common events where custom dictates godparents be chosen are marriages, school graduations, girls' 15th birthday celebrations (quince años), confirmations, first communions and baptisms. Sometimes, but not always, there may be a financial commitment involved, where for example as padrinos of a wedding or quince años, a couple may be asked or simply volunteer to contribute to the cost of the affair. But don't worry, financial obligations may be shared amongst several godparents. A case in point involved my wife and me. When asked to be godparents at the wedding of the son of then merely acquaintances, our mouths dropped, whereupon after a pregnant pause the request was concluded with "…of the rings." This meant that we were responsible for buying the wedding bands, while another couple was being honored with being the primary padrinos of the newlyweds. In fact you can be asked to be godparents of (for purchasing) the cake, liquor, flowers, and the list goes on, depending often upon the financial ability of the people throwing the function, and in the case of individuals with resources, whether or not they want to bestow a special honor at that particular point in time of the already-existing relationship. You may be asked to make a speech, give a blessing, dance with the bride/groom or quinceañera, almost always being an active participant depending on circumstances. If you're not Catholic, don't take communion or kneel, let your soon-to-be compadres know, even if it appears there won't be a religious component to the proceedings. There will likely be a priest involved. For example, on occasion one finds padrinos chosen within the context of the opening of a new business. As part of the ribbon-cutting ceremony, the priest may be in attendance to give and direct blessings. Personally, this Jew doesn't object to having a little holy water splashed on him by the padre... as long as it's as a result of inadvertence.

Padrinos are almost always selected from people of the same or a higher socio-economic class. For example. . .

Alvin Starkman together with wife Arlene operates Casa Machaya Oaxaca Bed & Breakfast. Alvin received his masters in social anthropology in 1978, and his law degree in 1984. Thereafter he was a litigator in Toronto until taking early retirement. He and his family were frequent visitors to Oaxaca between 1991 and when they became permanent residents in 2004. In his spare time Alvin leads private, small group tours to the craft villages, towns on their market days, ruins and other sites; writes articles about life and cultural traditions in Oaxaca; translates from Spanish to English for a local newspaper; and writes a legal column for a Canadian national antiques newspaper.

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