Apr 24, 2011, 5:38 AM
Post #9 of 34
Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman
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Your learning fast, and certainly picking the right ones! You will come to learn (probably fast in your case) there are some real “doosey's” here, but most are pretty good folks with sound suggestions.
I met and married a National in Mexico and have never been happier. But I also live in Mexico. Yes many will want to leave, but be very careful . . . . . . please, do not rush and that can happen so easily. Somehow our hearts can take the lead instead of practicality. I can personally share with you that immigrating a Mexicana into the USA is anything but a wonderful experience. INS are the absolute worst federal agency to deal with . . . . . be prepared to answer some very, very personal questions regards to motive, finances and yes even your sex lives. It sucks and was the reason we have decided to pass on immigrating to the USA for my wife and our two daughters. Unlike you, I am retired with a fair pension. We have bought and are remodeling an average size home in an average pueblo not far from a larger city in the Mexican state of Queretaro.
I did not go to Mexico with intentions on getting married, at the time it was the farthest thing from my mind. So we met and yes we married and I am a very happy husband, step dad, father and son in law to a very wonderful wife and extended family. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been an adventure punctuated by decisions precipitated by (believe it or not) some cartel issues, primarily why we live in Queretaro and why I have my in-laws living with us. But I will say I have been very fortunate and really would not have it any other way. What a blessed way to live out the rest of my life.
For more almost a year, everywhere that my wife and I went (on a date) mother was present, an old Mexican tradition, one I came to respect. Until we were married, this tradition continued. This gave me a lot of respect for my wife and her family.
My wonderful wife came as a package with an adopted daughter (now 8) and was close to her family. We now have a daughter of our own; we call our “little Mexi-gringa”. We met and married after some time, and many, and I mean many, trips back and forth, in Tampico, Tamaulipas. After we married and since, it is a continuous cultural education for me, also for my wife and extended family. Everyone involved has to have patience, a lot of real love and brutal honesty. There are for sure “bumps” along the road, but with much understanding, patience and a lot of humor, it can be a wonderful, enlightening and life changing voyage, as it should be. I have a real feeling of living now and not just existing.
My in-laws are the most wonderful and receptive people I have ever met. Their patience with me and my transition to learning and living a new culture has been nothing short of remarkable. They live with us in our home, (at my request) and are nothing short of saints!
I also know that I have been blessed and very fortunate in meeting a very special woman. It takes a lot of work and understanding that requires one to leave their pride and NOB “ways” north of the border, where they rightfully belong. Being totally open and flexible is a must, as is being forgiving and being very receptive to a whole new culture. Patience and receptiveness are two words that come readily to mind. Please do not bring any preconceived notions with you on what can be a wonderful journey, for you and (if you are lucky enough) a wonderful Mexicana. Just let it happen . . . . . . if it does.