Uncle Jack
Jul 28, 2003, 10:52 AM
Post #1 of 13
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It seems that after 2 months of not being too careful as to what I eat, I have come down with a very distressful disorder in my lower alimentary canal......gas, discomfort, frequent urges, and a general unwillingness to venture very far from the plumbing. Patty had just recovered from a similar situation so, back we went to see “Dr. Polo”.
Dr. Polo is a licensed doctor here in Mexico and he, like a lot of doctors, owns his own pharmacy from which de dispenses both medical advice and drugs. Because he speaks English and his pharmacy/examining room is right on the plaza, he is a favorite with many of the Gringos who live here and he is very familiar with most of the common ailments they incur.
After asking several very personal questions about my recent body functions, he looked at me and asked,
“Jack, do you remember what you ate the day before this started?”
“Strawberries from the street market.”
Without a word, he turned to the shelf behind him and retrieved a small box of white pills.
“Sopa de Mariscos (Seafood Stew) from the pier in Chapala.”
This time, he rolled his eyes before he turned for another little box of pills.
“Fresh oysters from the vendor from San Blas.”
He just stared at me for a moment or two and, without uttering a word or making even the slightest facial gesture, indicated that I was, indeed, the dumbest Son of a Bitch on the face of the earth. He added two more boxes of pills to the pile.
“Jack, I want you to take one each of these every 12 hours for the next 8 days.”
I may be a suspicious old poo head, but I think I detected just a touch of glee in his voice when he added,
“and absolutely no alcohol of any kind while you’re taking theses pills.”
Eight days without any Tequila?
Eight days without any good beer with lunch?
Eight days without any Martinis in the evening?
I am, indeed, a very repentant man.
uj
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