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M.E. in Pátzcuaro

Mar 10, 2002, 7:54 PM

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There are people who swear they have found the perfect beach. Once that is said, they develop a sly smile and get singularly vague on the subject.Playa Azul would not cause such a reactionIn fact, if you had asked me right away upon arrival if the six-hour drive from Pátzcuaro accompanied by severe altitude withdrawal were all worth it, I would have said, ´No way!'The first 24 hours in town, all I could think of was Puntarenas in Costa Rica. Puntarenas is hot, humid, kind of squalid, lacking in good places to eat, the kind of place Costa Ricans avoid if given the choice. Not exactly a swinging vacation spot. But hang around awhile, and it kind of grows on you.Kind of like Playa Azul.When there's no glitz whatsoever, it is possible to see beyond the tourist cap and get an idea of normal town life. It does take some fortitude, however. When it's so hard to get something to eat, ones natural inclination is to smoke on out of there. Instead we stayed week. The initial goal was to go to Caleta de Campos. We never made it.A visitor is welcomed to town by a sign promising a gastronomical adventure. This consists of variations on the theme,´'What can we do with 'manteca', salt and oil.' Cooks seem to harbor the belief that, Íf you cook a meal in half a liter of oil, you know it's just gotta be good!'When even scrambled eggs arrived oozing oil, we knew it was time to take the initiative. We disregarded menus entirely. They are basically the same from one establishment to the next. We just asked, 'Can you prepare this?' and went on to describe what we wanted. It was either that or a fruit juice diet. Never have I been so glad to survive those years of Spanish language struggles.There are about half a dozen hotel options in town. Our choice was María Teresa Jericó on Independencia or the fourth and last parallel street from the beach. There's a really good pool, lush grounds, nice rooms and friendly and accommodating management. The young ladies in housekeeping were exceptionally helpful. If you stay, don't be put off by the bevy of beauties at Reception. They perceive their role as one of maintaining a cool, aloof manner and being, well, lovely to look at.A three-day stay nets you a 10% discount off the 408-peso price for a double. There are 20-30% discounts for longer stays up to a month.It's not a great rate but better than the other pool hotel, The Playa Azul. A double there with TV and air goes for 536 pesos, although there are cheaper rooms. The figure is way out of line unless you have kids that would enjoy the lively, adjacent aquatic park.There are more economical choices scattered about town, but none with any real appeal or a useable pool.The very viable comment was made when this was posted on the General Forum that I had neglected to describe the danger of swimming in the ocean in the area. The poster was correct...very correct. The longer we stayed, the more stories we heard of near disasters in the treacherous tide. The worst was the tale related by a family at a 'palapa' or 'enramada' near Las Peñas. They told of a group that went surfing when one in the party sort of disappeared. The rest finally found him and bustled him off to their car assuring everyone he was alive. The family said they had seen much better-looking people in coffins than this supposedly 'alive' guy.My failure to report this was that as a non-swimmer all water is treacherous to me, and even in the calmest seas, I might manage to wet a toe or two. But the poster was right on!Another option for a hotel is The Hotel Villa Dorada, up the coast just a tad in Las Calabazas. Ten years ago the place started as a membership villa and two years ago opened as a hotel. Right now, they have a promotional rate of 255 pesos per person per night, including American breakfast. It is right on the beach and very quiet since hardly anyone was there mid-week. The windows have screens, and there's no TV or air conditioning, which for me, is a big plus.We wanted to hear the waves at least one night. All the hotels in Playa Azul are a few blocks from the beach; so at the end of the weeks, we headed for Villa Dorada. It's a snazzy place even if a very, very long way from the Mexico we know. The advantage is you can really relax. When I'm in the thick of things, the country is so all absorbing that it's hard to think about anything other than what is going on around me.If you call ahead, they have a special package which is even a better deal and reimburses you for the toll, one-way. Needless to say, this will not be in effect during Semana Santa.Getting to Playa Azul is still part of the adventure since the one detour left on the toll road is about twenty curving, treacherous miles between Las Cañas and Infiernillo. The descent from the turnfoff from the Pátzcuaro-Uruapan toll to Lombardia sent me staggering to the first aid station for oxygen. This was a first for me, but the very solicitous crew assured me it's not an unusual occurrence at all. I spent the rest of the trip following their advice to lie down in the van with my feet up.The official toll is 108 pesos one-way and then there are a couple of unofficial tolls solicited by 'campesinos' protesting the fact that the government has failed to reimburse them for 'ejido' land expropriated for the road and/or work done on the construction. At times, they take to blocking the road for a stretch.Once the final bridge is finished and the government decides to honor its commitments, arrival time will definitely be shortened. Even though many of the nasty curves have been eliminated, the drive still takes concentration. As we approached one curve, a car sped around the mountain, two-thirds of the way into our lane. The minute the 'No Rebase' sign is visible, this triggers a massive exodus of cars into the left lane, hell bent on passing, thus ensuring mass confusion when oncoming cars pop into sight. Then there's the speed. We passed one solitary car on a straightaway that had flipped over completely, just minutes before, smashing the roof of the car almost level to the body.A couple of recent posts asked what the place was like for a long time stay or a retirement option. There's not a resident gringo community that's not a resident gringo community that's for sure. The managers of the María Teresa Jericó are imports - he's Mexican-American and she's from Nova Scotia. She mentioned three gringos living in town, none of whom we met.There's a Post Office, but they had only three stamps. The second day, the guy in charge said he was going to get stamps soon and promised to mail our stuff. Paul left the cards and money for the stamps. It's certainly a most innovative way to run a Post Office. Actually, we hadn't been back home for long when the cards started arriving. Will wonders never cease?Locals say Internet is coming in the near future. La Voz sometimes arrives from Lazaro, sometimes not.As far as food, fish is obviously fresh and reasonable. Shrimp go first to Mazatlan or even Guadalajara and then come back. But they come back fast and are big and tasty. Butcher shops remind me of the old days in Pátzcuaro but with fewer flies. If I lived here, I would stick to fish or find out when the meat was butchered and arrange for them to save me the cuts I wanted rather than choose from the hanging chucks that sit out hour after hour in the heat.Standard veggies and fruits look good at the various stalls. The basics are certainly readily available. Anything on the fancy side would have to come from Lazaro or beyond.The town has a number of pharmacies, but only one was open. There are also a number of doctors' 'consultorios', but, again, only one was open. He has to be the only medic in my experience who keeps regular office hours up to 11:00 p.m. But I was very grateful for this fact when I really needed a doctor after 10:00 p.m. one night. He seemed to be most competent even though as a maternity doc, he was having difficulty accepting the fact we had no kids. It's been a long time since this was a hot topic for questioning, but at least I've had plenty of practice in the past.Clothes are simple. As the woman selling magazine said, 'In the city, you notice differences. If you're poor, you feel it. Here in the 'rancho', everyone is the same. Whether you have money or not, everyone eats the same, dresses the same, lives the same. You don't feel the differences in economics because you just don't see them.' There's a lot to be said for that philosophy.When I went ot buy toothpaste, no one asked me, 'What kind?' I got the only kind there was. If you're not hung up on choices, it could be a good place to live.It sure would be easy to live within a limited budget.Because of the humid, salty air, your 'stuff' will need lots of fixing. Entertainment options and activites are not what you would call 'prolific'. You definitely would have to have your own interests.Even if you have plenty, the rhythm of the place makes total ennui a distinct possibility. But then parking ones mind in neutral for a time isn't such a bad thing.Just staying in town for a spell should garner you leads on possible rentals.If I were here for a longer stay, there would be lots of conversations to explore. As opposed to other parts of the world, TV was not obliterated conversational opportunities. Knots of people still form 'on the stoop' during the day and late into the night. From only a week's experience, I can see how a person with questions and lots of patience could while away many an hour talking to people normally hidden from the foreigner in a larger locale.If your conversational Spanish isn't up to those questions, it would be a great laid-back atmosphere to work on getting it there.Playa Azul is undoubedly lacking in the attractions most people seek in a beach resort or retirement haven. But it gives you a look at a Mexico without the shadow of the condo.