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Carron

Apr 26, 2005, 6:34 PM

Post #1 of 43 (6809 views)

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Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I have just taken a look at the 15 members of Mex Connect who are currently on line and logged in. Most of the names are people I do not know because I have never read a post from them. Also just got a PM from a new member who says he can write to me privately cause he thinks I am a nice person, but is afraid to post on the forums for fear of being made fun of. What can we do to make these members feel more welcome???????

Even if they don't know much about Mexico, certainly they have valid questions to ask those of us who do. If even only one is brave enough to ask the question, we know there are many others out there who are eager to know the answer.



Marlene


Apr 26, 2005, 8:09 PM

Post #2 of 43 (6753 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Those comments surprise me. I find it interesting that a new member would assume they would be made fun of or would be made to feel unwelcome. Many questions are answered for new members in the archives, so it isn't a matter of being brave enough to ask. This forum is the most helpful and definitely most useful forum about Mexico on the internet and a general search of the archives back that up.

Those that choose to send PM's limit themselves to the opinion of one person rather than the consensus of the entire group. When I receive PM's, rather than answer privately I gently suggest the person post to the group, not only for a wider perspective but in order to continue to build the forum into the very useful database it has become. That's what it's all about.


"El Gringo Jalapeño"


Apr 26, 2005, 9:18 PM

Post #3 of 43 (6730 views)

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Re: [Marlene] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Marlene:
I totally agree with you. "Quien no habla, Dios no lo escucha" So speak up loud. I really love answering all those "stupid questions" which in the end are much more intelligent than we could ever imagine. As my granddaughter says with great enthusiam..."Aquí estoy, aquí estoy" I'm here, I'm here... so please lets hear what you have to say.
Roy B. Dudley "El Gringo Jalapeño" See more about Xalapa at www.xalaparoy.com


Don Moore


Apr 26, 2005, 9:18 PM

Post #4 of 43 (6730 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I've been a mexconnect subscriber for a couple of years and rarely post either questions or answers. Mostly, I just read and learn. I usually have little to add and often don't really don't know what I want to ask. I just enjoy it all.
Don Moore


esperanza

Apr 26, 2005, 9:45 PM

Post #5 of 43 (6726 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I've also had Carron's experience with people who are nervous about posting here. They're usually afraid of being made fun of, and in truth I've seen it happen on the forums: a newbie posts and is excoriated by some former newbie...what a shame. It doesn't happen often, but seeing that once is enough to scare some folks off. It can take a thick hide to stick around for the occasional flamer, and some people's hides are thinner than others.

That being said, by and large we're a pretty congenial group--at least publicly. Behind the scenes, sometimes the gloves come off--or so I've heard. LOL...

http://www.mexicocooks.typepad.com









jennifer rose

Apr 26, 2005, 10:11 PM

Post #6 of 43 (6721 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Good point, Carron. Cyberspace solon Howard Rheingold once remarked that in online communities 15% of the community provides 80% of the noise. Lurkers are always going to outnumber those who post. It was once considered a mark of netiquette for newbies to sit back and absorb a sense of the community standards and culture before jumping in. RTFM (Read the Fine Manual) was also part of the code of acceptable behavior. Those who are online today represent a much more diverse community than we saw a decade or more ago. There are still many who won't even take the time to scroll down the page to determine if their question was asked and answered two days ago.

Back in the old days, most web fora didn't have PM features, which required posters to venture forth with their questions. While it has its purpose, the PM feature frankly has made a lot of folks lazy. I'm just not inclined to craft a response which will be one-to-one instead of one-to-many, except under exceptional circumstances, and for that reason, I tell those with whom I'm not acquainted to post their questions to the fora.


zanymar

Apr 27, 2005, 2:42 AM

Post #7 of 43 (6703 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I have been a member since July of 2004 and have posted 1 message. In May of 2004, Zane & I took our first trip to Lakeside and spent two weeks there exploring and "talking to everybody" as Don Adams suggested. We loved the area and met a whole bunch of nice people, both locals & gringos. We thought that we might be looking through rose-colored glasses, so I made it a point to monitor messages boards and read every book I could find. I had a million questions to ask but discovered early on that using the search feature answered just about every one I had. We were back at Lakeside in February of 2005 and found it just as wonderful. From searching posts and reading the boards, I discovered that May and January-February were the least pleasant months to visit, we chose to travel there at that time because we figured if we liked the area then we would love it the rest of the year. Two days before we left we rented a lovely little apartment on Colon between to Continental Realty and The Tao Gallery. We'll be there on September 15th and hope to meet all you wonderfully informative people.
Zane & Mary

The Best Security System at Lakeside
http://www.chapaladogs.com

HAVE YOU FINALLY HAD ENOUGH? REGISTER & VOTE
http://www.votefromabroad.org

Casa de Ancianos in Chapala
http://www.casadellago.com.mx


donwilliston


Apr 27, 2005, 5:16 AM

Post #8 of 43 (6681 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I think a forum has the same cultural dynamic as a party or large family gathering. Some people are natural communicators (They talk constantly) and others tend to be observers (They tend to listen and watch).

Also I certainly agree with esperanza that “we're a pretty congenial group”. Everyone is very polite on this forum.


---
"It's good enough to be true" Gracie Maurahan 1970
---


Bear

Apr 27, 2005, 5:28 AM

Post #9 of 43 (6675 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I remember making a good-natured mistake on this forum and getting blasted. I also remember Don from Sayula and his very kind reply. I have learned to expect both and that is how it will be.


LisaO

Apr 27, 2005, 7:18 AM

Post #10 of 43 (6642 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I've been a member here for a couple of years and I think I've made two posts in that time. The main reasons I don't post is that we don't live in Mexico (yet) so I can't really offer much advice, and the areas that we are interested in are not covered extensively on the fora (the Caribbean coast and the Acapulco area). The other reason is because our retired lifestyle will be different from most as we intend to live and travel in our RV. We expect to travel the country extensively for the first couple of years and then to split our time between the coasts in the winter and the highlands in the summers.

Having said that, I enjoy reading all the posts and have learned that we still have a lot to learn about moving to a foreign country. And while I understand that some lurkers don't post for fear of being flamed, that is not a problem for me - I can give as good as I get. For me, it is more that I feel like I am interrupting a private discussion because there are usually only a few consistent posters who seem to know each other well and personally.

Although we are frequent visitors to Mexico, at this point we are limited to 2-week excursions. So this site has been very helpful (and a lot of fun, too) in helping us get a feel for what life could be like when we are actually living there. You guys are great! And now I will creep back into lurking mode :)


Miguel Palomares


Apr 27, 2005, 8:03 AM

Post #11 of 43 (6624 views)

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Re: [donwilliston] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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"Everyone is very polite on this forum."

Whoo, boy, is that ever wrong. A most egregious example of its being wrong would be the time I posted my opinion that it´s OK in many cases to photograph folks on the street without telling them. The response I got from a moderator (NOT Jennifer Rose who´s well-bred) was that she hoped one day a photograph would be published of my kids´ on the street picking their noses!

And she wasn´t saying it in jest either.

So, how´s that for good breedin´? And a "moderator" at that.

I´d say people are mostly polite here with occasional crass exceptions.


From Tzurumutaro, Michoacan, "The Village of the Darned."
_______________________________________

The nuts and bolts of moving to Mexico:
http://michaeldickson.blogspot.com/
The dark side of living in Mexico:
http://mexicopeeks.blogspot.com/
Scintillating life in a Mexican pueblo:
http://tzurumutaro.blogspot.com/
http://tzurumutaro2.blogspot.com/

(This post was edited by palomares on Apr 27, 2005, 8:26 AM)


Carron

Apr 27, 2005, 8:22 AM

Post #12 of 43 (6608 views)

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Re: [LisaO] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Good point about most of us seeming like friends who know each other well. Doubt that many of us have ever actually met, but we are long and dear e-friends based solely on our participation on Mex Connect. Probably the only thing many of us have in common, either. We have asked and answered each others' questions for years and admittedly do so with quite a bit of personal background knowledge about who's who. Most of us also still prefer to connect through the foros rather than by PM, which wasn't part of the membership package years ago.


sarahsb

Apr 27, 2005, 11:13 AM

Post #13 of 43 (6569 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Hi all!

I also do not live in Mexico, but like to read the posts in your forum. I have posted only once. When I retire in a couple of years, I will be traveling in Mexico for two to three months per year. Til then, I will read and learn all I can about Mexico through the forums/articles. As I get closer to retirement, If I have any questions, I will not hesitate to post my questions/concerns.

Regards,

Sarah


sfmacaws


Apr 27, 2005, 3:10 PM

Post #14 of 43 (6519 views)

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Re: [LisaO] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Hey Lisa,

We are full time RVers who also own a condo on the carribbean coast in Quintana Roo. We spend winters there or traveling in Mexico and Central America and summers traveling in the north. There are a few others on here who do something similar, at least I think there are. I've found that we have often seen and experienced more of Mexico than some folks who have lived in the country a long time. It certainly gives you a wider perspective on the country and the many, many different cultures it encompasses. I feel it also gives you the best of climates all year, if it is too hot or too cold ... just drive away. You might enjoy our web site of travel pictures and journals http://www.baddog.com


Jonna - Mérida, Yucatán




bdlngton

Apr 27, 2005, 3:59 PM

Post #15 of 43 (6502 views)

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Re: [palomares] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I have to agree with Palomares here. Most people on this forum are nice and polite and welcoming to newcomers. I feel I was treated rather impolitely by one frequent writer who chose to try to make me look foolish because I asked a question about bringing a car in on a tourist visa. This person first accused me of tryng to skirt the laws somehow and then stated that it was very bizarre that I would ask lay people for legal advice. It seems to me that much of what is discussed on this forum is Mexican law. And when another person posted the exact same question recently not a word was heard from this person.
There are some on this forum who seem to take delight in trying to make some others look foolish. Perhaps those of you who know these people in person know their true personalities and consider them really nice people. For the majority of us, however, we only know the persona they choose to project through their posts, and I personally would not care to meet them in person based on that. If they don't have information to add to the discussion, perhaps they should think twice before posting.
So I am usually a lurker, gathering what information I can, but not posting often, preferring to not risk the chance of being publicly attacked again.
There are also some very warm, wonderful, generous people on this forum. I have had the opportunity to meet some of them in person and the subscription price was well worth being able to have these people in my life.
Susy


Gringal

Apr 27, 2005, 4:32 PM

Post #16 of 43 (6490 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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As an occasional poster, I have to agree that the chances of getting flamed on the open forums are minimal. There have been a few examples of innocent souls getting unduly scorched. However.....I made a comment about a month ago which was meant to be humorous rather than harmful and was promptly flamed in the grand manner in a private response. I can handle that, and rather than get in a private flaming contest, I offered a generic apology to end the matter, but it was really no funatall. Since there is no qualifications test for posters to assure that they have a least a minimal sense of humor, this sort of thing will happen and it's too bad. But, as Bette Midler said: ".......'em if they can't take a joke".


Don Moore


Apr 27, 2005, 7:14 PM

Post #17 of 43 (6449 views)

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Re: [gringal] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I am not afraid of getting flamed. "Sticks and stones....", and I am no lurker in person or in writing in most settings, but it seems like I have very little to say on these forums (or fora for those who speak Latin). I went back and checked my comments and discovered something very interesting. Most of the time when I reply to a post, it turns out to be the last item in the thread. Either I am getting the last word, or hardly anybody gives a bleep what I write, or I am just jumping in after everything relevant has been said. In any case, thanks to you all for the invaluable information and opinion.
Don Moore


jreboll

Apr 27, 2005, 8:14 PM

Post #18 of 43 (6430 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I have lived and worked in Mexico and still go there once or twice a year. Sometimes I feel like answering to some of the posts but I find that I don't have the eye for detail that some of the other posters here do. To tell you the truth I don't even know the highway numbers that I have traveled dozens of times. I wish I could post more often but when I do I find after reading my post that I did not accurately write the post as I should have.


Don Moore


Apr 27, 2005, 10:39 PM

Post #19 of 43 (6402 views)

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Re: [Carron] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Here's one for you, Carron. I'd love to know more about what life is like for you near the frontera. I know you have made reference to this several times in various posts, but I'd like to get a more comprehensive picture. I think this would make an excellent subject for an article in the monthly "magazine." Unless you feel you have already exhausted the subject, could we get more details from you about your life near the border, an area which nearly everyone says is undesireable for a lot of reasons that so many see as self evident.
Don Moore


tonyburton


Apr 28, 2005, 9:44 AM

Post #20 of 43 (6333 views)

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Re: [Don Moore] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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I second that! Excellent idea, Don. And, while we're on the subject, perhaps we should be encouraging other regular posters to do likewise? I'm sure David would welcome all ideas, and all article submissions, and give them all serious consideration. It's input from regulars, whether Forum posters or not, that helps to keep Mexico Connect at the top of the pile. Keep the ideas coming! Tony


Texwheel

Apr 28, 2005, 10:35 AM

Post #21 of 43 (6325 views)

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Re: [tonyburton] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Wow, what a fascinating thread! I am an daily reader, and occasional poster....kind of like that radio talk show line, "long time listener first time caller"...And since I live NOB, and have visited the interior of Mexico just once...hope to do visit #2 this summer...I am more of a "gatherer" of info, not a "giver"...but as I acquire more knowledge, and experience, maybe I'll become less of a "newbie" and more of a contributer.

So, I don't "lurk". I hang around, read and learn.

And let's not knock PM'ing too much. I have made some good friendships PM'ing folks when there was what I thought was an unfair accusation by someone else...and I have been PM'ed by others saying they agreed with me, or helping me out, when there was no point in adding to a controversy publicly.

I love this forum. And I appreciate what all have to say.
Tom Williams
Georgetown, Texas
Texwheel@aol.com


Carron

Apr 28, 2005, 2:59 PM

Post #22 of 43 (6284 views)

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Re: [jreboll] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Now how many times do posters here actually ask for highway numbers? How many of us semi-retirees living in Mexico can actually see well enough to read the highway signs if you gave them to us? (This is not a flame but a very practical observation).

What we generally want is your personal impressions of Mexico because we value them and so do newbies to our foros, and we all definitely appreciate any questions or comments you may have to offer. Keep posting!!!!


Carron

Apr 28, 2005, 3:07 PM

Post #23 of 43 (6278 views)

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Re: [Don Moore] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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Just check in with us occasionally. Mention your questions and your concerns, even if you don't live here but hope to one day. That's how the rest of us got here!


Carron

Apr 28, 2005, 3:13 PM

Post #24 of 43 (6272 views)

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Re: [zanymar] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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And thank you for posting this one. What encouragement and advice you give to many new members! Sounds like your personal plans are on track and we would all love to hear from you about how everything goes.

Please keep posting.


Camille

Apr 28, 2005, 5:32 PM

Post #25 of 43 (6230 views)

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Re: [palomares] Who's On Line and Why Do They not Post?

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A big AMEN! on that one, Palomares.... I won't soon forget asking a question which had been asked before, on the chance that the situation had changed.... and snap, crackle, pop!!! FLAMED by a moderator.... maybe it made her feel better, but it didn't help me at all.
I will continue to ask, however, with the thought in mind that as a subscriber I have every right to ask away. As my beloved granny used to say, "If it harelips every mule in Texas!"
Camille
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