Forums > General > Living, Working, Retiring

MariaLund

Mar 19, 2005, 1:27 PM

Post #1 of 24 (2336 views)

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Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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I wonder if it is a normal occurence for recently retired former workoholics or if it is just me, so I would like your input, if you care to answer. I retired - early - last year and joined this forum, since I was condidering a move to Mexico. However, before I managed to finalize it, I was asked to help turn around a family business in Sweden (I am Swedish citizen but have lived in the USA for over 20 years) and I went there. Stopped in Netherlands on my way up, enjoying the fields of blooming tulips and other spring flowers and had a ball. Business in Sweden got improved sooner than expected and was soon taken back over bu my brother, it's major owner, so I was left with a "duty" to enjoy a Swedish summer - which would have been enjoyable had it not been the coldest - and wettest - summer - in Sweden in 87 years and I had taken no winter clothes with me! Brr, I still shiver. So I decided to move further and went to southern Spain. There was hot, hotter than I was used to, because air conditioning is not normally found even in tourist condo's on the beaches of Costa del Sol. I lived a bit up from the Costa, in Almunecar, a three thousand year old small town of about 20000 inhabitants, about a quarter of which are not Spaniards but European expats: Brits, Germans, Swedes, Danes, Dutch, French etc. more or less in the order of how populous are their colonies. I was lucky to have found a nice two bedroom condo on the tenth floor, overlooking a paseo and with sun most of the day (by no means not an advantage in the summer months, but very much so in winter, since buildings in Spain have no heating, either). The condo rental did cost $2000 a month in August, down to $ 875 in September and a bargain $450 a month from October through April. Furnished, Spanish style, with basic cable TV (which means that besides Spanish channels, it got three German ones and a BBC and CNN news), but no phone. No problem in Europe, where you can get good rates on pay-as you go mobile phones. In the early fall the social expat season began in earnest and, again, I had a ball for a while dividing my time between sightseeing (Granada, Sevilla, Cordoba, Jerez, Cadiz, Ronda etc. etc etc. in Andalucia alone plus an obligatory Barcelona and Madrid and Toledo...) and all the social clubs: hiking with the Germans and Swedes, Danish-Spanish gourmet cuisine club, two Nordic social clubs, and the American club with its tapas tours and lunch meetings. But after a few months I got boooooooooooooooooooooooooored and dreamt about returning to work. Any work. Even for free, but, God please sabe me from the expat retiremant sybaritism. My new friend did not understand me... may be because they were women? (I read somewhere men are a lot more likely than women to miss work... go figure). Over their protests I found a nonprofit organization in a small mountain village, which was doing research and experiments with sun-cooking and other methods of environmentally friendly living in desert areas and I went to join them and to help them with their fundraising among European corporations. I lived in a small, very basic room, had to walk half a kilometer (well, a slight, but only slight, exaggeration) to the restroom, had no refrigerator (which was a problem to keep my insuline at the right temperature, but it got solved) and was happy again beign an unpaid workoholic for a few weeks! I even went to their field site in southern Morocco, visiting fabled oases.... It was an exhilarating experience, working again, doing something bloody useful instead of just playing foe a change. So I decided to return to States and work part time. I love to play, but CAN'T LIVE without working! Will this ever go over? That need to work? Will I ever be able to settle anywhere doing nothing? I'd love to come play in Mexico, but not without work... How do you, guys, handle this?
Vivere non est necesse, navigare necesse est!

MariaLund

Mar 19, 2005, 1:35 PM

Post #2 of 24 (2326 views)

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Re: [MariaLund] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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sorry for the misspellings... I should have gone the preview route :-( And the prices quoted are in EUROS, not US dollars, which now, where dollars buy fewer and fewer euros makes a difference.
Vivere non est necesse, navigare necesse est!

johanson

Mar 19, 2005, 4:46 PM

Post #3 of 24 (2294 views)

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Re: [MariaLund] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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How very interesting. I too am of Swedish decent (However the last time I was in Sverige, we drove on the other side of the road), I have also lived in NL for one year and in the Bavarian alps (Obergammergau) for 4.5 years and München for 18 months. I have been in Ajijic now some 2/3rds of the time since 1997. The remainder of the time I'm up north at the Cottage located at in the Cascade foothills between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA

I love my life here in Ajijic. Why? Because I have found something productive to do with all of my spare time, but I guess I could have done that in any number of cities throughout the world. I do enjoy the weather here. It sure beats Seattle, Lund, Malmo, or NL in the winter, But for some reason I loved the snow in the Bavarian Alps.

DON'T worry about finding things to do. Projects will find you. You will have more opportunities to do interesting things than you will have time for. If you like the weather and find the prices economical you can create your own network and produce your own paradise or hell here. I produced my own paradise.

And you have one other advantage over many who live here, you speak several languages, something the majority of the retirees can't do. And let me tell you, a little Spanish goes a long way to making your stay much more enjoyable.

(This post was edited by johanson on Mar 19, 2005, 4:56 PM)

D.G.

Mar 19, 2005, 4:50 PM

Post #4 of 24 (2292 views)

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Re: [MariaLund] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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I can't speak to all of Mexico, I doubt anyone can, but in my town of San Miguel de Allende, there are so many charitable causes to work for, that I doubt you'd be booooooooord!

MariaLund

Mar 21, 2005, 8:15 AM

Post #5 of 24 (2139 views)

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Re: [D.G.] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Thanks, Johansen and DG, though none of you directly answered my quation, lol. I was asking if the compulsion to work ever goes away, and you told me there are things to do in Mexico. Well, that's comforting, surely, but human beings in general (I think) and me in particular are highly inconsistent from one moment to another and I know I love the amenities of big cities (theatres, libraries, well appointed bookstores, symphony, ballet, international population) but I also love nature, deep forests, soft, white, wide and miles long beaches, and would rather live surrounded by nature and a short drive from a big city. However, when I wrote my post I was dreaming about actually living in a secluded fishing village for a while and wondered how bored how soon I would get if I ever tried. I lived for three months in the jungle - cloud forest in Costa Rica (with only monthly trips to San Jose for a few days of civilization) and loved it, but I was working my butt off there and the little leisure I had was well filled by all the jungle trekking and reading (there is a great library in the tiny Monteverde). I also once spent three weeks on a secluded island in Seychelles and loved it, but it was only three weeks between two workoholics appointments. How old (physically ? mentally?) does one have to get to settle down to a life of leisure?
Vivere non est necesse, navigare necesse est!

MariaLund

Mar 21, 2005, 8:31 AM

Post #6 of 24 (2132 views)

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Re: [johanson] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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It is so true, Johanson: one of the things I loved most about southern Spain was the opportunity to speak four of five languages every day, in casual conversations with either new friends or acquaitances or with total strangers and I am afraid I will not find it anywhere in Mexico. It seams that in southern Spain almost one quarter of the population is international and everybody chats with everybody, any language they can. And I had plenty of opportunities to learn and practice Spanish, too, which will be my seventh language once I get proficient in it. Yes, a little language does go a long way... only sometimes, especially when mixed with an alcohol induced overconfidence it goes too far. Remember once in November I was sitting in a great tapas bar, and encouraged by a group of locals, tried first a typical fino with seafood instead of a white wine, then a local version of a fino, then an amontillado with some other tapas they suggested, finally an oloroso and after all that I was thrilled to "hear" one of the locals, a shepherd from Alpujarras, as I was told, order a vase of mu favorite spring flowers, columbines. Imagine, columbines, in November! in a tapas bar!
But what ha said, actually, was "un vasito de aquilla" por favor" and only I, with my latin reference (after all I was drilled in latin for four years in high school, all those endless amo, amas, amat, amamos, amatis, amant... and so da capo al fine, disce puella latinae...:-)) mistook a diminutive from aqua for a latin aquilegia = columbine. I was pretty disappointed when all he got was a glass of water. :-)
Vivere non est necesse, navigare necesse est!

Rolly

Mar 21, 2005, 8:32 AM

Post #7 of 24 (2128 views)

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Re: [MariaLund] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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I think no one answered your question because it doesn't have an answer -- at least not an answer that one person can give for another. Enjoying inactivity or learning to enjoy it are very personal things. For me, it varies a lot -- some days I goof off all day doing next to nothing, not even getting dressed; other days I'm climbing the walls by 7:00AM.

You're just going to have to try it to see how it goes for you.

Rolly Pirate

D.G.

Mar 21, 2005, 8:37 AM

Post #8 of 24 (2127 views)

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Re: [MariaLund] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Thanks for strightening me out. As to what you are asking, I think you know yourself best. I doubt a person who leads a driven life, will suddenly change their approach to living. Even for your time in the jungle, you were working, and I doubt that you would have found the time there pleasurable or even tolerable, if you absolutely had "nothing to do".

So, my take on this is that you will never outgrow or "outage" your particular lifestyle. The only exception to this would be a major event that would force you to change. I don't think ordinary retirement is one of those major events. Any changes which you experience, are more likely to be subtle, such as a change in what you do, as opposed to how you approach your activities.

My 2 cents worth.

Texwheel

Mar 21, 2005, 9:49 AM

Post #9 of 24 (2109 views)

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Re: [Rolly] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Rolly, I just loved your post! Thank God I'm not an idiot.

Some days I'm just bitin' at the bits to do stuff, go on long hikes, etc., and others I'm too sore to move and just spend the day reading or watching some favorite movies on the DVD. There is nothing wrong with chillin' for a time.

Take care. Tom.
Tom Williams
Georgetown, Texas
Texwheel@aol.com

MariaLund

Mar 21, 2005, 10:28 AM

Post #10 of 24 (2101 views)

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Re: [D.G.] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Yes, DG, I was afraid that mentally I might never outgrow or, as you aptly put it "outage" my lifestyle. The problem is I did not take a regular retirement, I took an early retirement due to insistence of both my doctor and my well meaning daughter: I am a diabetic, have been for 20 years, (when my late husband was diagnosed with a slow growing, but terminal brain tumor with which he struggled for the next nine years) and although my diabetes is usually very well controlled and I rarely if ever get ill, I was repeatedly told that I need to ditch a job involving 75% of international travel. And I started to notice that on every trip my sugar would "act up" for a few days amd I know it;s not good. I could not find a tempting job, that would not involve travel, so I resigned myself to retire ... and still I could not resist travelling and I missed work horribly. I missed that adrenaline rush of tight deadlines, of complicated problems that urgently need to get solved, in cultures, many of which are not mentally geared to acting quickly. I missed the intellectual demands of a professional job.
I'll be fine for the next six months, I hope, since I have been asked to act as a part time (25 hours a week on paper, but God only knows how many in real life) interim/consulting director for a nonprofit, which grooms a talented young person with no sufficient experience for the role. So for the next six months I will be living on a beach (I found a beachfront condo), on an island, a few hundred feet from a nature reserve and less than 20 miles from work and from a medium-sized city:I am heading to Padre Island and Corpus Christi. Close to Mexico. But after those six months I will again have to decide what to do with the rest of my life and might spend a winter in Mexico. I loved the country every time I visited, I even worked there briefly, I might be ready to live there. At least it would fit my daughter pleas of "mom. please, on this side of the Atlantic", although I am not sure that flying to Mexico is actually any quicker than flying to Europe, have the need for her ever arrose to take care of me, but if that's how she feels.... I do, however need to spend more effort to improve my Spanish.
Vivere non est necesse, navigare necesse est!

1ajijic

Mar 21, 2005, 10:36 AM

Post #11 of 24 (2096 views)

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Re: [MariaLund] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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I was as type A as one gets. My wife thought I would go over the deep end when I retired, especially as I was here for four months without her. I have wonderful friends and lots to do. However, only you know you. Take a look at our website. It chronicles our entire voyage, perhaps it will help.

Harry Bublib
http://www.newbeginningsmexico.com

Carol Schmidt

Mar 21, 2005, 12:35 PM

Post #12 of 24 (2070 views)

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Re: [MariaLund] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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So many workaholics when they "retire" have to transfer all that drive into something else--at an RV park I lived in many retirees drove around the park all day long on their golf carts documenting every possible rule infraction, which they would raise hell to get corrected, with accompanying fine and punishment to the offender. using all their work expertise to continually rewrite the rules, the by-laws, etc.

Some of us joke in San Miguel about the "border upgrades"--people who were perhaps mid-level at their professions and suddenly announce they were CEOs, have PhDs, wrote bestsellers, etc. They jump into the first problem they perceive and seek to solve it completely, using their U.S.-based ideas and expectations, driving everyone else nuts and alienating plenty of people in the process.

There can be huge internecine political fights over being elected chair of some organization. (Henry Kissinger once said of academic infighting, it's particularly sad because the stakes are so puny.)

Wherever you go, there you are. You bring your personality with you. Mexico is not the problem, you'll have to come to peace with finding a new way of life.

Too many retirees are in effect tossed into the garbage heap of society because of our age. That's the problem each of us has to deal with, because society is not likely to change. Maybe you could put all your energies into AARP.

Carol Schmidt

Marlene

Mar 21, 2005, 1:16 PM

Post #13 of 24 (2061 views)

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Re: [Carol Schmidt] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Quote

Some of us joke in San Miguel about the "border upgrades"--people who were perhaps mid-level at their professions and suddenly announce they were CEOs, have PhDs, wrote bestsellers, etc.

This amusing phenomenon isn't unique to SMA. Over our way in Mazatlán we have a few who have also obtained magnificent border promotions. In fact in some cases if you add up the time involved for the various career accomplishments they boast about, it would make them about 120 years old! :) I suppose this is one of the perks of moving to Mexico. You can be anybody you want to be!

tonyburton / Moderator

Mar 21, 2005, 1:25 PM

Post #14 of 24 (2057 views)

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Re: [Marlene] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Your reply brought back some fun memories. In a different life, on a different continent, and in a previous century, I hosted two college parties with a few friends on two successive weekends - the first was a "Come as you really are" party, and the second was a "Come as you really want to be" party. No prizes for guessing which was more fun!

gbatrucks

Mar 21, 2005, 2:59 PM

Post #15 of 24 (2024 views)

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Re: [MariaLund] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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What a great thread! These are the same questions I have wrestled with since considering retirement. MariaLund, your bio & comments read a lot like mine could…Symphony & ballet, travel, cooking, etc. I have finally decided to retire ASAP, this year hopefully. As Social Security will be a big part of my funding, the decision to retire now at 62 rather than hold out for the age 65 + payment is based on several reasons. First, unless we are working in a personally rewarding career, most of us do our 40 hour + routine just to pay the bills. We work to live, not live to work. Few have ever had I WISH I HAD SPENT MORE TIME AT THE OFFICE carved into their tombstone. And with my former boss who is three years younger than me now given about a month to live because of a cancer discovered less than a year ago, I don’t plan to work one day longer than I have to. I don’t plan to spend my retirement sipping mimosas on the veranda, unless I want to that day, but as others have said, you can keep busy doing things that really matter. There are so many people in Mexico that need help in one form or another, I’m sure one can keep as busy as one wants, and furthermore feel at the end of the day that you had something meaningful. Imagine the volunteer work one can do when not tied down to making a living! I’m looking forward to it.
"The trouble with life is there's no background music."

MariaLund

Mar 21, 2005, 4:01 PM

Post #16 of 24 (2004 views)

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Re: [Rolly] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Rolly, Trxwheel, with diabetics the medical professionals call these lazy days "bad days" because they usually mean your body is so busy with preventing an outbreak of an infection it leaves you with no energy for doing anything else. Maybe, if they were called "good, fighting days" instead of "bad days" we would accept them more easily? And were glad we had them? One good fighting day, after all is a hell of a lot better than several miserable days having a cold, a flu or so,ething even worse, isn't it? :-)
Vivere non est necesse, navigare necesse est!

Carol Schmidt

Mar 21, 2005, 4:07 PM

Post #17 of 24 (2001 views)

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Re: [MariaLund] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Someone I know has several autoimmune diseases (myasthenia gravis and more--if you have one autoimmune disease you usually have several).

Every day she wakes up and sees her day ahead as a bowl of marbles to spend.

Some days she can sense she has a full bowl of marbles and she goes ahead and does everything she wants to do.

Some days she can sense she has very few marbles in her bowl, just enough energy to use for basic daily living necessities.

I ask her some days, "Have you lost your marbles?"

Carol Schmidt

MariaLund

Mar 21, 2005, 4:13 PM

Post #18 of 24 (1999 views)

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Re: [Carol Schmidt] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Hi, Carol. although I agree with you that it is sad, when an overabundance of energy gets so misdiracted as you describe (driving around, correcting, making others miserable etc), I am more ambivalent about what you call "border promotions". I am all for letting people have all the promotions they can get, any way they can get them. I am sure it makes them a lot happier and happy people are a lot more fun to be around than brooding, unhappy people. And they probably prove that it is a misconception thinking that very few, if any people should like to write on their gravestones: I wish I spent more time at the office. I believe there are millions, who think they should have applied themselves more, yes spent more time at the office, been luckier in their careers, been shrewder etc. etc.
Spending time with your family - over a certain base amount which is beneficial and rewarding, is, in my opiniom, highly overrated.
When my daughter was in highschool, she spent several years in a pivate school, in another country, partially in a dorm and partially having a surrogate mom of a different nationality, with whom she still has a contact, and whom she visits about once a year, and she is now 36. I would not have wanted to deprive her of this opportunity to experience a different style of mothering and to form different bonds by being overly possessive a mother under a pretext of motherly love. So, let our families breeze and lets spend more time at the office! :-)
Vivere non est necesse, navigare necesse est!

Texwheel

Mar 21, 2005, 4:49 PM

Post #19 of 24 (1985 views)

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Re: [gbatrucks] Retirement jitters... or ... does Mexico live up to your expectations?

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Trucks, I'm with you. I turn 62 in August and have to decide whether or when to start drawing SS. My ex is a human resources compensation expert, and she says it normally pays to start drawing early if one can get by financially....the problem is if you do work you can't earn very much, and past a certain amount it is taxed at a horrendous rate. I just wish Medicare could start early, also!
Tom Williams
Georgetown, Texas
Texwheel@aol.com

alex .

Mar 22, 2005, 6:07 AM

Post #20 of 24 (1919 views)

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Re: [Carol Schmidt] back when I was a tailgunner in WWII...

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so THATs where that comes from! Border enhancement. Humph. I didn't think there could possibly be that many tailgunners.
Alex

Uncle Jack

Mar 22, 2005, 7:22 AM

Post #21 of 24 (1905 views)

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Re: [alex .] back when I was a tailgunner in WWII...

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Most certainly not many surviving tailgunners.

uj

gbatrucks

Mar 22, 2005, 10:06 AM

Post #22 of 24 (1871 views)

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Re: [Uncle Jack] back when I was a tailgunner in WWII...

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There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold pilots.
"The trouble with life is there's no background music."

alex .

Mar 22, 2005, 1:05 PM

Post #23 of 24 (1820 views)

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Re: [gbatrucks] there are 2 kinds of retractable gear pilots

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those who have landed with the gear up and those who are going to land with the gear up.
I understand that the sound of the prop striking the tarmak is the first indication that one messed up.
Alex

tonyburton / Moderator

Mar 22, 2005, 3:23 PM

Post #24 of 24 (1791 views)

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Re: [alex .] there are 2 kinds of retractable gear pilots

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Ok OK, I know I helped divert it, but I think this thread has wandered far enough!
Please start another thread, if you wish to continue discussion about retirement...