Gay life in SMA

Gay life in SMA

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As that earlier string about being gay in SMA is closed to only private replies, I thought I'd stick in my two cents by starting a new one.

I am not a gay, but I play one on TV.

No! I am not gay, but I was a volunteer with AIDS Project in L.A. some years back. I was married at the time with two kids. I had an AIDS buddy who died on me a year after I began visiting with him. He was a terrific guy, and I really loved him and was terribly broken up when he died. I found out I was just not cut out for dealing with death.

As a volunteer with AIDS Project, I socialized with other AIDS buddies, who were nearly all gay men. It was the best group I've ever hung out with in my life.

Now that I've given my credentials, I'd like to say that SMA has a very large and noticeable gay contingent. I think that's true because the town is very "quaint" and "artsy," but also because there are a sizable number of gay people already here. You find the same thing in San Francisco, West Hollywood, New Orleans, Hot Springs, AR, and other charming towns. And the number is probably growing.

So, I would propose that Mexico Connect get even more guts and put in a special forum for gays.

One other comment, the gay contingent in SMA definitely appears to me to be older (in line with the town also being a retirement center) and more conservative than you would probably find in San Francisco, L.A., or New York. I see a lot of "coupled-up" gays here, but very few who appear to be "on the hunt."

Am I right or wrong? I know nothing about the night life here because I just can't afford it.

Oh, and one other thing. Although Mexico is very accepting of gringo gays, and you do see some Mexicana lesbians in this town occasionally, Mexico is NOT all that friendly to its own male gays. This is an extremely macho culture, and to be gay here is to dishonor one's family and the community. There may be cross-dressing in the Locos parade, but, believe me, those guys are no more emulating gays than Milton Berle was. The town doesn't care what gringos do as long as they are not blatently breaking laws or disturbing the peace or insulting Mexican women. The police are even trained to believe that all gringos are potheads and should be left alone to get stoned all they want.

It might be nice if the gringo gays could somehow help out their Mexican counterparts, but I really don't see how it could be done.

elcomputo

Apr 18, 2004, 12:02 AM

Post #2 of 29 (2604 views)

Re: [elcomputo] Gay life in SMA

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Oh, one thing I forgot to add.

Back in that other string, Carol, you told one writer Mexico Connect is not a dating service for gays.

Not quite right. Go to the home page and click on Personals. There is an option for "Men seeking men" and "Women seeking women." The writer could have posted his message there.

Apr 18, 2004, 5:36 AM

Post #3 of 29 (2596 views)

Re: [elcomputo] Gay life in SMA

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Being "out of the closet" goes along with my retirement nicely; it's a period of freedom to pursue life as much as advancing age allows me to do so. At 62, and having only recently come from the States I'm all for a gay forum here. In San Miguel, in general though, I'm unsure how to proceed to get the gay community a little more "united". In the States we usually gather around favorite places, bars in particular, or gay community centers (there's an idea!). Here that doesn't seem to want to work though I have no idea why! As I've written before my gaydar goes off all day long and there seem to be more lesbians here than gay guys, from my observation. I'll bet we could get together under some common banner/project and make a go of things.

Los que cantan oran dos veces! (Those who sing pray twice!)

Carol Schmidt

Apr 18, 2004, 9:15 AM

Post #4 of 29 (2576 views)

Re: [elcomputo] Gay life in SMA

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I said the San Miguel/Guanajuato forum wasn't a dating service. I'd forgotten about that personals column or I would have suggested it. Thanks for reminding me about it. I locked the previous thread on gay life in SMA because it was rambling all over the place and had grown so long that anyone coming to our forum for the first time could only see that topic on the entire screen and several screens below it, and they'd think that was the only topic we discussed here!

I'll bring up the idea of a specific gay and lesbian forum to David. Meanwhile, when I was asked to write my column it was to be from the lesbian and gay perspective, and I bring in my impressions and experiences as a lesbian often, though that's just one part of me. The column is there, however, and I make it clear throughout that I am a lesbian and am experiencing Mexico as such.

I'm glad to see more discussions going!

Carol Schmidt, off to breakfast at Cafe La Parrochia and people-watching at the Jardin

Apr 26, 2004, 1:58 PM

Post #5 of 29 (2502 views)

Re: [Carol Schmidt] Gay life in SMA

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I, for one, would VERY much like to have a gay forum here. I'm constantly going in to forum search for the word "gay" just to keep abreast of the gay events/discussions, etc., happening on the forums.

And btw, Carol, I didn't mind the post from the fella seeking a date at all.

pat

Apr 26, 2004, 6:43 PM

Post #6 of 29 (2480 views)

Re: [pdxdaniel] Gay life in SMA

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Any particular individual's sexual orientation notwithstanding, do we really want to turn this group into a forum that caters to discussions about sexual lifestyles and dating opportunities...... There are other forums on the internet where these topics are much more appropriate, I think.

Pat

jennifer rose

Apr 26, 2004, 6:53 PM

Post #7 of 29 (2475 views)

Re: [pat] Gay life in SMA

Bravo/a! See, I don't even know (or care) what your gender or orientation is. Let's keep these fora Mexico-oriented.

Apr 27, 2004, 12:06 AM

Post #8 of 29 (2446 views)

Re: [jennifer rose] Gay life in SMA

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It goes back to the old standard: if you don't wanna see it, then don't go in. But please don't keep those who DO want to go in from doing so. Which is exactly why I support a separate forum for gays. And btw, Jennifer, I think this is the perfect place to have a gay forum about Mexican gay life. For those of us who happen to be gay and are contemplating a move to Mexico, it is the logical place to go for information -- afterall, this website is promoted as the definitive website for expert Mexico information. And that is why I originally came here to this website specifically seeking out information about being a gay retiree, among other topics.

(This post was edited by pdxdaniel on Apr 27, 2004, 12:10 AM)

Apr 27, 2004, 12:17 AM

Post #9 of 29 (2444 views)

Re: [pat] Gay life in SMA

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Um, I think the suggestion was to create a new forum specifically regarding gay life in Mexico. No one ever said turn this forum into a gay forum.

(This post was edited by pdxdaniel on Apr 27, 2004, 1:01 AM)

sfmacaws

Apr 27, 2004, 12:31 PM

Post #10 of 29 (2397 views)

Re: [jennifer rose] Gay life in SMA

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Well Jennifer, you may not care what my gender or orientation is but I certainly do. And I too see a need for gay-specific information about MEXICO - that's what the forum is about right? To be a useful and complete forum I think that a gay specific section about life in Mexico and the particular issues that are useful to gays is a great idea. It's needed and it would be used. I don't think that it has to be a personals or dating service and I don't think that would be appropriate nor do I think it is an obvious result of having a gay in mexico section.

those that aren't interested can refuse to click.

Jonna - Mérida, Yucatán

Apr 27, 2004, 3:52 PM

Post #11 of 29 (2379 views)

Re: [sfmacaws] Gay life in SMA

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BRAVO/a, Jonna. Well said!! :-)

(This post was edited by pdxdaniel on Apr 27, 2004, 3:53 PM)

esperanza

Apr 27, 2004, 7:31 PM

Post #12 of 29 (2356 views)

Re: [pdxdaniel] Gay life in SMA

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Sorry to be late weighing into this discussion, but to you, pdx, and to Jonna, and to the rest of you who have posted positively about this idea: yes, it's an excellent idea. There are many issues (including legal issues) and questions that are specific to gay people in Mexico. There's nowhere on the Internet to find current, intelligent information that would be beneficial to us. MexConnect would be the ideal venue, if it dared to be. And just as Jonna and others have said, if folks don't want to look at it, heck, don't click on it.

http://www.mexicocooks.typepad.com

Don

Apr 27, 2004, 8:48 PM

Post #13 of 29 (2348 views)

Re: [pdxdaniel] Gay life in SMA

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I have no problem with a Gay forum on this website, but that is David's decision. I personally do not believe one is necessary. Questions asked by anyone can be asked on the appropriate forums, whether they are gay related or not. If you start getting too specific on forums then why not set one up for divorced people living in Mexico, widowed people, also one for those living in Mexico with children and also one for those working in Mexico. They all have their own specific problems and questions. As you can see this can snowball. Gays, divorced people, widowed people ,those with children, those working in Mexico and others can all ask their questions on the same forums.

sfmacaws

Apr 27, 2004, 10:51 PM

Post #14 of 29 (2331 views)

Re: [Don] Gay life in SMA

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Well, perhaps some of those would be of benefit. For instance, relocating to Mexico with children. I see posts about this but it doesn't seem that there is a single place that the particular questions involved in moving with children can be discussed. It also would give those of us past child bearing age a chance to skip it, I'd like that.

For any forum to succeed and get good input from the old hands, there has to be a place to discuss - not just answer questions - or it is boring and dull. Something that this forum has a problem with in my opinion. You don't have to leave it wide open but you do need to let folks talk a bit, particularly with those who are also interested in the subject. I don't see that gay issues in MX are any more off topic than cooking or construction?

Jonna - Mérida, Yucatán

Apr 27, 2004, 11:08 PM

Post #15 of 29 (2330 views)

Re: [Don] Gay life in SMA

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Do divorced people, widowed people, parents, working folk and all those to whom you refer have the same unique problems as gay folk? For example, are the Mexican PDA (Public Display of Affection) laws enforced against divorced, widowed, etc., folks as they are against gay folk? I think not. You know, once in Puerto Vallarta a friend of mine and I were leaving my house and I forgot to roll up the sleeves on my t-shirt as I like to do, so I asked him to do it for me. Within minutes, a couple of passing cops stopped and interrogated us as to why my friend was touching me. He was rolling up my sleeves for jimminy christmas! Would that happen to a straight couple? Of course not.

There are any number of reasons a gay forum on Mexconnect would be useful and to compare apples to oranges produces a false and misleading analogy. You are correct it is David's decision since it is his website. From my perspective, he would be doing an invaluable service to many gay folk who would welcome such a forum to gain valuable knowledge of Mexico. As I stated previously and others have since ... if you don't want to read it, don't go look at it or join in.

Apr 28, 2004, 6:09 AM

Post #16 of 29 (2321 views)

One more vote FOR

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and if you're taking names for volunteer short term moderators, add mine to the list. Miguelito

Los que cantan oran dos veces! (Those who sing pray twice!)

thfarrell

Apr 28, 2004, 6:52 AM

Post #17 of 29 (2310 views)

Re: [Miguelito] One more vote FOR

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Hi...

Remember, about 10 days ago Carol said:

> I'll bring up the idea of a specific
> gay and lesbian forum to David.

So perhaps wheels are turning even now... ?

tom
---
"Beauty is in the i of the Beholder"
(Julia Mandelbrot)

Don

Apr 28, 2004, 7:48 AM

Post #18 of 29 (2302 views)

Re: [pdxdaniel] Gay life in SMA

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I know that gays have many unique problems they must confront, but so do other groups. We have gays in our town and some are our friends. They appear to lead very good lifes here. I don't see the problems here for them in Mexico, as I saw in the U.S. I see more discrimination here against the poor and the indians. I am just saying one can snowball the number of forums out of proportion. People belonging to AA go to regular meetings. Does David create a forum so they can get support over a forum here in Mexico, due to their unique problems? This can go on and on.

Chumley

Apr 28, 2004, 1:08 PM

Post #19 of 29 (2270 views)

Re: [Don] Gay life in SMA

Hey, Don, what does it matter to you or anyone else besides David how many forums there are on Mexico Connect? When was the last time you checked out the Mexican Cuisine forum or the Business forum? At the risk of being repeatitive, if you don't want to read it, don't click on it. After all, the server space isn't yours, it belongs to Mexico Connect and the contents are created by the membership.

(This post was edited by Chumley on Apr 28, 2004, 1:10 PM)

Apr 28, 2004, 1:15 PM

Post #20 of 29 (2265 views)

Sure, and why not

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have more forums. Are we restricted to some magic number? If the purpose of this entire board is to bring enlightenment, information, and assistance to those of us already in Mexico and to those contemplating joining us then why not have as many forums as are wanted. They can always be discontinued if attendance is poor, no? Gracias, Miguelito

Los que cantan oran dos veces! (Those who sing pray twice!)

Don

Apr 28, 2004, 1:44 PM

Post #21 of 29 (2259 views)

Re: [Chumley] Gay life in SMA

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Hey Chumley, don't get so upset. An opinion was given about creating a new forum. I gave my opinion against the idea. I check out all the forums on Mexico Connect. I live in Mexico and find it informative to check them out, even though I may not live in the area represented by that forum. Obviously you are not objective and only want to see printed what you want to see. Sorry but this world is not that way. There are two sides to every story. I believe the Mexico Connect forums were created to provide information about Mexico and information to those interested in living in Mexico. There are specific forms about different aspects of Mexico that provide information to all users of these forum. When you create a special forum about gay life in Mexico, or an AA forum, or a forum for people moving here with children, you are narrowing the forums to fit the needs of just some of the subscribers. Their questions can be answered of the current forum where their interests may lie. Someone can access the Ajijic forum and ask questions there about AA meetings, schools for children., etc.in that town or area. Or do you think a gay forum should be created for the Ajijic/Chapala forum, another for Yucatan and so on. Because one must remember that what holds true in one area , may not work in another. I think if the suggestion for a separate gay forum is accepted, then the door is open for others to ask for their special forums. With all the forums that may end up being created, one will need a search engine to find the forum for which they are looking. Once again, I am sorry if my opinion offends anyone, but I am entitled to that opinion and will continue to voice my opinion. I am not voicing opinions against people, but only ideas. My opinion is only a response to an idea put forth on this forum. I suggest you follow your own advise. If you don't like my opinions or posts, don't read them.

pat

Apr 28, 2004, 2:08 PM

Post #22 of 29 (2252 views)

Re: [Chumley] Gay life in SMA

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Geez Chumley, cool your jets. You'd think that if someone disagrees with your opinion, they should just sit down and shut up.

As to whose business it is as to how the forums are run, you bet, it's David's. But don't forget we are all dues paying members here, and by definition, entitled to express an opinion.

Now, back to cordial debate, whatdaya say?

Pat

Marlene

Apr 28, 2004, 2:28 PM

Post #23 of 29 (2249 views)

Re: [Don] Gay life in SMA

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Quote

questions can be answered of the current forum where their interests may lie.... Because one must remember that what holds true in one area , may not work in another

In my opinion this is probably one of the best points made in this discussion. Each area of Mexico is distinctly unique. For example, what may happen in Puerto Vallarta does not necessarily ever happen in Mazatlàn, etc. (on any topic).

Apr 28, 2004, 2:47 PM

Post #24 of 29 (2244 views)

Re: [Marlene] Gay life in SMA

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Well using this faulty logic, then, we err by not having a forum that is regional specific for cooking, cuisines, construction, business and the like, rather than a simple single one for each of those areas. You folks belie your own purposes with your silly extensions of forums for this and forums for that. Let's get to the crux of the matter ... the idea of a -- heavens! -- G-A-Y forum is simply anathema to your own moralistic beliefs.

(This post was edited by pdxdaniel on Apr 28, 2004, 2:52 PM)

Apr 28, 2004, 2:59 PM

Post #25 of 29 (2233 views)