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Uncle Donnie

Sep 22, 2003, 10:12 AM

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Hey Alex!

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Sorry I dropped the ball on the travel book boo-boos. It seems like some of the humor has left the forums lately. Remember the "You know you live in Mexico" threads that used to run; or at least until that Spanish surnamed

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http://www.headformexico.com

Uncle Donnie

Sep 22, 2003, 10:28 AM

Post #2 of 25 (2756 views)

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Re: [Uncle Donnie] Hey Alex!

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looks like my mind has left...

gringo who worked in the DF went off on his rant. And the funny T-shirt messages...

Think we can try again?

And is life easier/more difficult/less or more pleasant now that you're on the upper side of the border?

UD

Shameless self-promotion:
http://www.headformexico.com

pat

Sep 22, 2003, 11:47 AM

Post #3 of 25 (2734 views)

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Re: [Uncle Donnie] Hey Alex!

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Uncle Donnie () Post #2 of 3 (23 views) Copy Shortcut Sep 22, 2003, 1:28 PM Re: [Uncle Donnie] Hey Alex! - NEW [In reply to] Quote | Reply

looks like my mind has left...

gringo who worked in the DF went off on his rant. And the funny T-shirt messages...

Think we can try again?

Heck yes!... please do try again. Try something....How about anything without LCS or ADL in the subject line, for starters.

Pat

Uncle Donnie

Sep 22, 2003, 12:30 PM

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Re: [pat] Hey Alex!

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No kidding! We ALL need a break from that.

Somebody kickstart this rig.

UD

Shameless self-promotion:
http://www.headformexico.com

jennifer rose

Sep 22, 2003, 12:38 PM

Post #5 of 25 (2718 views)

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Re: [Uncle Donnie] Hey Alex!

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And here it is --http://www.mexconnected.com/...t/dtyouknowwhen.html

From another mailing list:

You know you live or you've lived in Mexico when........
[Let's add to this list]

-A wedding is at 8:00 p.m., you get there at 10:00 p.m. and nobody has arrived yet.
-You will often have lunch and dinner at the same restaurant on the same day...without actually leaving
-You believe a shot of tequila cures everything.
-You have more prescription drugs in your toiletry bag than Eckerd does and you don't have an actual prescription for a single one.
-You bring along small cans of chilies when traveling to Europe.
-Leaving the office at 5:00 p.m. means working a "half day".
-Returning to the office after "la comida" on Friday means you're "un pinche gato".
-You blame the traffic on the rich.
-You blame the crime on the poor.
-You blame the PRI for almost everything else.
-You blame los "pinches gringos" for whatever's left.
-The word "Puente" means five-day weekend.
-You enjoy drinking beer with lime, salt, ice, Tabasco sauce and still think it's the orange juice in the morning that gives you heartburn.
-"Licenciado" is a proper name.
-If you order the tacos and your friend orders the enchiladas, you're positive the waiter will get it backwards.
-You go "pssssst" to catch a waiter's attention... in New York City.
-You refer to "@" as "Arroba" but have no clue what it means.
-You use the word "este" as a conversational filter... in English.
-You say "Bueno" when answering a telephone... in English.
-You say "Mande" when someone calls you...in English.
-You keep on addressing good friends as barnyard animals. ("Buey" & "Cabron" are the animals most often employed).
-You refer to a salesman as "maestro"... at Saks Fifth Avenue.
-You eat tacos, enchiladas, morcilla, moronga, and medula, but believe hamburgers are unhealthy.
-When someone tells you "I'll call you," you assume that he won't.
-You know "a ver cuando nos vemos" actually means "I really don't care if I don't see you anytime soon".
-"Tomorrow" means "not right now", "never", or "screw you."
-Calling in sick on Monday is proper behavior.
-You keep a 20-dollar bill taped to the back of your driver's license.
-If you want 50 people to show up for your party, you invite 150.
-You call an 80 year-old waiter "joven".
-You call a twenty year-old waiter "viejo."
-You call everyone else,"hermano", "mano", or "manito".
-But you call your real brother, "pendejo."
-You never refer to a friend's mother as simply "su madre", but always qualify by saying, "su señora madre", or " su querida madre", to avoid a misunderstanding which could get you a "madrazo."
-You assume women fall into three categories: virgins, whores or your mother.
-You assume your daughters are virgins because they get home before you do at night.
-You profess, "como Mexico no hay dos", but secretly wish Mexico City was more like San Antonio.
-You think the next "Sexenio" and "The President" always will be better.

[There's even more at the URL cited above.]

alex .

Sep 22, 2003, 2:37 PM

Post #6 of 25 (2693 views)

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Re: [Uncle Donnie] Hey Donnie

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Well, its like this: I find myself looking for ways to get back to Mexico yet I can't explain exactly why. We spent some time in Tecate over the last few weeks checking out real estate , the border crossing and chatting with folks that send their kids to school on the US side. There is an elementary school within walking distance of the border and a US high school that sends a bus to the border to pick up kids. We are looking into the details of that. The border crossing we have figured out: the crossing closes at 10pm. The locals then park their cars in line at the gate and walk home(Tecate is fairly small). They come back in the morning just before the gate opens at 6am and are in line and ready. There is no worry about cars getting stolen during the night as they are parked bumper to bumper and there is no way to get one out of the line ! So you see, we may be there sooner than later.
I was born in the US and my allegiance lies there, but there is something about the "disorder" in Mexico that I find comfortable. Like its Ok to have a bright yellow building with blue and orange letters on it. Like its OK to have a TV antenna if you want. Its OK to pee behind a tree along the highway (at least I THINK it is?). Parking. I find it so odd that in the US there is the attitude that there must be control of the tendency to park where it might be most convenient to do so. So for that reason there is a No Parking sign every few meters on every street in every town all across the country.Where I now live in Riverside county those no parking signs are like rows of corn going way out beyond where anyone would care to park. Do THIS don't do THAT..... I like law and order and all that, but at the same time I feel stupid waiting at a "left turn on arrow only" light when its late at night and there are no other cars in sight for blocks all around. Does that make any sense to you?
Alex

(This post was edited by alex . on Sep 22, 2003, 2:49 PM)

Uncle Donnie

Sep 22, 2003, 5:58 PM

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Re: [jennifer rose] Hey Alex!

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Now do you scoffers see why such a large cult worships and adores this woman? She DOES have a sense of humor!!!

Thanks jj!

Shameless self-promotion:
http://www.headformexico.com

Uncle Donnie

Sep 22, 2003, 6:14 PM

Post #8 of 25 (2655 views)

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Re: [alex .] Hey Donnie

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Alex,

Not many of us have your insight into the Mexican community and understanding of the way many things are done. Thanks for the Tecate descriptions. The last time I was there I cut across from your old home, TJ so I didn't think about it being so close to the border.

Yes, I can understand your statements about rules and regulations, and they DON'T make any sense.

You know that Sandra Cisneros, author of The House on Mango Street, et al became the target of a lawsuit filed by her neighbors who didn't like her purple house. Never happen down here, would it?

As for peeing alongside the highway, thanks for the heads up... I didn't know I was supposed to use a tree.

UD

Shameless self-promotion:
http://www.headformexico.com

Marlene

Sep 22, 2003, 9:03 PM

Post #9 of 25 (2641 views)

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Re: [Uncle Donnie] Hey Donnie

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The tree comment is hilarious (who knew?!) and reminds me of my own Mexican tree story (no peeing involved (so far!)). Without dialogue of any kind, and if occasion warrants, such as being without our vehicle and hailing a taxi, or if any other pertinent negotiation is looming (just about anything else where he could be "gringoed" (as he calls it) by simply being in my presence , I will get "the signal" from my Mexican husband. I know it well - hide behind the palm tree and I will let you know when the deal is done. I swear, in the early days of our marriage I had nightmares of coconuts falling on my head. I soon learned to act casual and cool as I made a grand exit from the palm fronds!!! Viva Mexico from the inside out!

P.S. Don't even get me started on discussing stop signs with dear hubby. We are miles apart on the meaning of stop signs! Just when I think I am making headway for my side in the stop sign debate he proves me wrong. Viva Mexico. Stop signs ARE a bit of a nuisance when there is no traffic, plus the tamarindos don't give tickets for not stopping, so what is my point exactly? God help me if I have to drive north of the border again some day. Viva Mexico.

esperanza

Sep 23, 2003, 11:19 AM

Post #10 of 25 (2594 views)

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Re: [Mazatleca] Hey Donnie

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OK, a Mexican roadside pee story: a companion and I were traveling the Michoacán backroads one year, meandering from who-knows-where to quien-sabe-donde, when she was overtaken with the need to pee NOW, no waiting for the next Pemex (which we invariably called Pee-mex, since we knew we COULD whilst gassing up). So I pull the van over to the side of the road (she in the passenger seat) and as I am rolling to a stop she is jumping out and simultaneously unzipping her jeans. No traffic in sight, she squats and starts...and suddenly screams, and screams some more. Her landing place was a red ant hill, and up her bare legs they crawled, biting her every step of the way! Her need to go was suddenly a need to GO...and it all gave real meaning to 'ants in your pants'. She did get to where she could laugh about it, but it took a while.

http://www.mexicocooks.typepad.com

mexigrl

Sep 23, 2003, 1:31 PM

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Re: [esperanza] Hey Donnie

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...and since we are on the "pee" subject I will add my 2 cents. While visiting Taxco a few months ago I found that I was unable to hold it any more and just started asking around for a bano. A very sweet lady offered me the bano on top of the roof of her store - warning me that it was rather primitive. OK with me - as I ran up the stairs to the roof. The bano, of course, was primitive - basically a basin with some sheets around it for modesty. I heard the barking of dogs outside as I plunked myself down - but didn't give it a second thought (although now thinking back they were a little loud....). Just as a stood to get up the dog decides that it is time to find out who I am. As I am drip drying this huge paw pushes its way into the sheets and on my lap is a 100 pound street dog (who I would later find out was named "Besos", his favorite activity). Of course I yell in surprise and end up on the ground (with pants still down....). A lovely gentleman hears my cries and comes running up the stairs to assist. Luckily by this time the pants are up (not zipped yet) but I am still on the ground with my new buddy Besos (living up to his name). He assists with dragging the puppy off of me and helps me up. Once up I see the little crowd from the tienda downstairs have all gathered around to see what is up with the poor gringa ;) It was definitely a Kodak moment.

Ahhh...bathroom stories...this thread could get interesting!

Mexigrl

(This post was edited by mexigrl on Sep 23, 2003, 1:32 PM)

alex .

Sep 23, 2003, 2:00 PM

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esperanza

Sep 23, 2003, 2:09 PM

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wendy devlin

Sep 23, 2003, 2:30 PM

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Kip

Sep 23, 2003, 2:40 PM

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pathall

Sep 23, 2003, 9:15 PM

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Re: [Mazatleca] Hey Donnie

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I can't resist this -- Our drive down to Mexico every year takes us 7 days and, of course, 7 days back home. So figure the odds that you are going to have to GO at some time in our long drive when there's no bathroom around for miles. This year I will be in great shape 'cause I now have a contraption that was designed for female astronauts in space. A plastic cup with a rubber tube/hose. Now I can stand with the men!
Pat

PeggyS

Sep 23, 2003, 11:39 PM

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Re: [pathall] Hey Donnie

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It's called Jane's John and is available from any pilot shop or aviation catalog. The "John" has always been available for guy pilots to use while flying (most of our own planes and even big cargo planes don't have bathrooms) and for some years now the Jane has been used by the girls. Of course when you land and take it in to be emptied, everybody knows what you've been doing, but what the heck.

pathall

Sep 24, 2003, 8:40 AM

Post #18 of 25 (2445 views)

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Re: [PeggyS] Hey Donnie

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Mine's called a "Portable Urinary System for females" and it's made by Freshette. It doesn't need to be emptied and I got it in a camping store.
Pat

FeelinGroovy

Sep 24, 2003, 8:52 AM

Post #19 of 25 (2437 views)

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Re: [pathall] Hey Donnie

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Thank you! With all the complaints on the fora about hijacking and chat rooms and degenerating into pee jokes, etc. I just want to say that this is valuable 'moving to Mexico information'. I plan to drive from Northern California to Ajijic next spring with my dog Abby, pictured here, and, being a female of a certain age I have to, um.. powder my nose a lot :)

This is the kind of useful information I needed!

Hey, guess what, the forums are working just fine!
Libby

pathall

Sep 24, 2003, 11:19 AM

Post #20 of 25 (2397 views)

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Re: [Libby] Hey Donnie

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I got it from a camping store on the Internet: www.campmor.com. Good luck!
Pat

Carron

Sep 29, 2003, 12:48 PM

Post #21 of 25 (2305 views)

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Re: [mexigrl] Hey Donnie

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To have all these interesting posts deleted in the interest of what? Morality? Lack of awareness that bathroom protocol in Mexico is simply different from that in the US and Canada and can be a real culture shock for those of us gringos who live here?

I appreciate these posts because I can identify with the "pee customs" in Mexico which at first shocked me. Now I try to ignore.

Besides, having posts deleted from several major and long-time contributors to Mexico Connect only whets my appetite for more of what they have to offer. Why not let them post and let the readers decide whether the coments are appropriate to an obviously well-read, middle-class clientele of paying customers? Deletion is like marking out recently released classifed materials from the highest levels of government or saying "you can't read page 37 of the Tropic of Cancer. Anything forbidden takes on a suggestive life of its own.

Why not try letting the paid subscribers to this forum self-police? I think most of us are perfectly capable of doing so.

alex .

Sep 29, 2003, 1:23 PM

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Re: [Uncle Donnie] my wife has some comments here

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in regard to how's life. In one word : suave.

She likes the quality of the grade school and can't believe its free.

She LOVES garage sales.

She likes that there is a high probability that the car will be in the driveway the next morning.

She feels that there is a great sense of Justice and Fair Play, but thinks that people abuse the court system.

She thinks it stinks that people cheat on welfare: such a fine idea that we all chip in to make sure that no one suffers yet some perfectly capable of working don't.

She is convinced that Americans spend money foolishly and pay too much for everything.

She marvels that there are no retenes, save for San Clemente, Temecula, and rt 94.

She can't belive that there is such a thing as "over 55 only" communities, that children are the very soul of life as we know it.

She likes that a left turn signal means that the driver is turning left.

She likes 99 cent stores.

She likes the "melting pot" that prevails here in southern california, even though she finds the cholos pretty scary.

She thinks it quite humorous that dogs ride in the car with the people.

She is happy and is in no hurry to return to Mexico, not just yet anyway.

Alex

(This post was edited by alex . on Sep 29, 2003, 1:26 PM)

Uncle Jack

Sep 29, 2003, 1:35 PM

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It's too bad..........

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........that we can't clone her. The US could use a few more people with her mind set.

uj

HHERRINGTON

Sep 29, 2003, 3:26 PM

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SELF POLICE NOT!!!!!!

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"Why not try letting the paid subscribers to this forum self-police? I think most of us are perfectly capable of doing so. " NOT!

The past six weeks has proven that there are several people that use these forums constantly post off topic posts, and in some cases posts that should have resulted in their being banned. Thank heavens for a moderator who is willing to delete posts!
----------------------------------------------------

Life is too complicated to be expressed in one liners.

Uncle Donnie

Sep 29, 2003, 4:58 PM

Post #25 of 25 (2245 views)

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Re: [Uncle Jack] It's too bad..........

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Amen, UJ!

Alex, you've once more demonstrated why so many of us love to read your posts. It's wonderful to see things through the eyes of someone more or less unfamiliar with a foreign culture; especially someone as perceptive and wise as your bride.

Fortunate Alex!

Shameless self-promotion:
http://www.headformexico.com