Sep 22, 2003, 12:38 PM
Post #5 of 25
And here it is --http://www.mexconnected.com/...t/dtyouknowwhen.html
Re: [Uncle Donnie] Hey Alex!
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From another mailing list:
You know you live or you've lived in Mexico when........
[Let's add to this list]
-A wedding is at 8:00 p.m., you get there at 10:00 p.m. and nobody has arrived yet.
-You will often have lunch and dinner at the same restaurant on the same day...without actually leaving
-You believe a shot of tequila cures everything.
-You have more prescription drugs in your toiletry bag than Eckerd does and you don't have an actual prescription for a single one.
-You bring along small cans of chilies when traveling to Europe.
-Leaving the office at 5:00 p.m. means working a "half day".
-Returning to the office after "la comida" on Friday means you're "un pinche gato".
-You blame the traffic on the rich.
-You blame the crime on the poor.
-You blame the PRI for almost everything else.
-You blame los "pinches gringos" for whatever's left.
-The word "Puente" means five-day weekend.
-You enjoy drinking beer with lime, salt, ice, Tabasco sauce and still think it's the orange juice in the morning that gives you heartburn.
-"Licenciado" is a proper name.
-If you order the tacos and your friend orders the enchiladas, you're positive the waiter will get it backwards.
-You go "pssssst" to catch a waiter's attention... in New York City.
-You refer to "@" as "Arroba" but have no clue what it means.
-You use the word "este" as a conversational filter... in English.
-You say "Bueno" when answering a telephone... in English.
-You say "Mande" when someone calls you...in English.
-You keep on addressing good friends as barnyard animals. ("Buey" & "Cabron" are the animals most often employed).
-You refer to a salesman as "maestro"... at Saks Fifth Avenue.
-You eat tacos, enchiladas, morcilla, moronga, and medula, but believe hamburgers are unhealthy.
-When someone tells you "I'll call you," you assume that he won't.
-You know "a ver cuando nos vemos" actually means "I really don't care if I don't see you anytime soon".
-"Tomorrow" means "not right now", "never", or "screw you."
-Calling in sick on Monday is proper behavior.
-You keep a 20-dollar bill taped to the back of your driver's license.
-If you want 50 people to show up for your party, you invite 150.
-You call an 80 year-old waiter "joven".
-You call a twenty year-old waiter "viejo."
-You call everyone else,"hermano", "mano", or "manito".
-But you call your real brother, "pendejo."
-You never refer to a friend's mother as simply "su madre", but always qualify by saying, "su señora madre", or " su querida madre", to avoid a misunderstanding which could get you a "madrazo."
-You assume women fall into three categories: virgins, whores or your mother.
-You assume your daughters are virgins because they get home before you do at night.
-You profess, "como Mexico no hay dos", but secretly wish Mexico City was more like San Antonio.
-You think the next "Sexenio" and "The President" always will be better.
[There's even more at the URL cited above.]