Dec 8, 2011, 1:26 PM
Post #1 of 8
This is an edited email response to the condolences sent to me by an owner of a weboard when she recently learned of my wife, Doris' premature Death when reading one of my posts on Mexconnect.
For the Spanish challenged, I have included a few translations in parentheses after a few words that are simpler to type in Spanish.
Thank you for your good thoughts. Being a viudo this year is the lonely pits. I was alone here for 3 or 4 months. I feel terrible of course, mostly I miss the companionship of Doris. At least her mother has been staying here for the past few months, she lived with us for the past few years, even though she owns her own home in México City. I love her like a sister now, she is only about five years older than I am. There is nothing romantic between us, but we are very fond of one another. It is not the same as having Doris back, but it beats the hell out of being alone.
I never imagined that Doris would die before I do, since she was 23 years younger than I am. I was always trying to prepare her for widowhood someday. She never wanted to hear about that possibility. In retrospect, maybe that was a good thing. She was less than a month from her 56th birthday when she died on February 27th of this year.
My suegra's (mother-in-law's) name is Sarita, her son Salvador (Chavo) visited here a couple of months ago, and he and at least one of his sons will be here on the 22nd of December to spend Christmas with us. I have invited them all out for a nice dinner on Christmas Eve. My sobrino (nephew) lives in Queretaro, his father, my Cuñado (brother-in-law), lives in Tacoma, Washington, they are both American citizens. I would love it, if it was possible to have Doris with us again, but, since her death, my income has gone up. I had to agree to a 30 to 35% reduction in my 3 union pensions, to provide full survivors benefits for Doris if I predeceased her as I expected. I sent copies of her Death Certificate to my pension plans and my income has gone up by a couple of thousand US Dollars per month. It doesn't take the sting out of losing her, as we were living comfortably before she died, but it does make things a little easier for me alone, to pay for her final expenses, funeral, etc.
My late suegro (father-in-law) was a Mexican-American from Texas, my cuñado was born in Texas, and raised in México City. My cuñado "regained" his Mexican citizenship because of his Mexican mother a few years ago, so he is a dual citizen of both countries now. He prefers to speak English now, but he still has a slight Spanish accent, he is, of course, still a fluent Spanish speaker. He now has the second highest seniority of any employee at Boeing Aircraft. He plans to retire in México in a couple of years. He says he wants to live in Cuernavaca when he retires, México City is too big, and too cold in the winter for him now. He is the only brother I have now, my own brothers and sisters have all passed away.
Doris' family is truly my family now. I am home.
My adult sons and daughters from my first marriage all wanted me to return to The US when Doris died. They all loved Doris too, they want me to come home so they can take care of me. I feel like I would be abandoning Doris if I leave the country, and the city she loved though. I guess I belong here now. Besides, 2 wonderful Mexican dogs have adopted me, they are 8 years old now, I must concentrate on outliving them, so they will never be orphaned. I think they may be distant cousins of Lambchop, they are the same breed, as though that was important, they call them "Maltese" here, but I believe they are some kind of a miniature Poodle cross, I don't care, as long as they are 100% dog.. The important thing is that they love everybody, especially little human kids.
"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved" - Victor Hugo