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surebought

Dec 4, 2011, 8:51 AM

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A Mother's tough love in a Matriarchal Society.

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Got to know a nice Mexican women who opened a Segunda after her divorce and the last of her three children had left home. She was selling all the accumulation of 25 years of marriage. She asked me if I knew anyone who wanted to rent her house. It had off street parking and an Ocean View. She was asking $1,200US. Her plan was to rent it and move to a small apartment and pay about $150 per month. She wanted to spend her time drinking coffee and gossiping with her friends. No more family responsibility for her. She figured she could live pretty well on the $1050 US positive cash Flow.
Then one day I see her and she says, "I rented my house for $1,400 and I did find an apartment for $150 US, so I am so happy. If you could introduce me to a nice American, then life would be just beautiful." I get that all the time. Most of these women would rather die than get involved with another local. I congratulate her.
Then about a week passes by and she gets a knock on the door and its her 20 year old son with two suit cases. "I am getting a divorce," he says. She is just crest fallen. She loves the kid, but he is a child just like his father. She hears him outside telling some of his buddies that he has moved in with his mother because she needs to be taken care of. She knows she is the one that is going to have to take care of him by cleaning, and laundry and food, but most of all, her new found prosperity would soon go down the drain to his pendahadas.
She decides that she is really going to throw him a curve. So one day she comes home and tells him what a good son he is and that she holds him in such high esteem that she is going to give him the apartment and she has found another one a couple of miles away and she is moving out immediately. Problem Solved.
There are 35,000 single mothers in Ensenada. The population is around 350,000. This was one mother that was not going to get caught up in an adult son sponging off of her. Bravo.

joaquinx

Dec 4, 2011, 9:39 AM

Post #2 of 4 (1220 views)

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Re: [surebought] A Mother's tough love in a Matriarchal Society.

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I love stories with happy endings.
_______
My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

La Isla

Dec 4, 2011, 5:04 PM

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Re: [joaquinx] A Mother's tough love in a Matriarchal Society.

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Me too! Hats off to that smart lady.

mazbook1

Dec 5, 2011, 6:37 PM

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Re: [La Isla] A Mother's tough love in a Matriarchal Society.

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This is cultural change in action! Slowly but surely the machismo - and its outgrowth mamitis (or is it maybe the other way around?) - culture is being seen for what it is by smart, educated Mexican ladies—subservience of the woman! be she mother or wife—and rejected. It might be many years, a generation or two yet, before it's gone, but gone it will be!

The machismo culture, in the form of the corrida de toros is also under attack, so the handwriting is on the wall. I understand that DF has an active group seeking the banning of bullfights entirely. Many (but not all yet) of the Mexican States have passed fairly severe anti-familial violence (read: anti-woman violence) laws that not only have severe consequences for the violent spouse, but actively encourage the women to file charges. The growth of support groups for the victims of familial violence is unprecedented in this society.