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YucaLandia

Nov 18, 2011, 9:08 PM

Post #1 of 3 (1128 views)

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Qualities and Stuff that Make Life Good in Mexico

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This past few months in Mexico and on various Mexican expat forums have been both surprising and interesting.

A number of people have stepped out of quarters I never imagined, and some others have stepped-up in ways I never dreamed of.

These peculiar twists and turns have gotten me thinking about what's important, what things have affected me, what roles people have played - both beneficial and malignant, and the contrasts between very helpful people and very difficult or challenging individuals have helped bring previously unseen / unrecognized things into sharper focus, helping me identify yet more qualities that I admire and find helpful versus qualities and stuff that just drag things down or wear things out.

Working and living in foreign cultures present some special challenges; offer some unexpected rewards; present both new dillemmas and sometimes recast old dilemmas in new forms; and may open our eyes to completely unexpected perspectives and opportunities.

I really love to hear other's stories of Mexico:
What things have affected you here.
What things have influenced or changed you.
What imaginings or perceptions brought you here, and have those changed.
What things opened your eyes to new or different ways of seeing or understanding.
What things surprised you.
What things have come into sharper focus.
What things have you found important or unimportant.

What insights or advice would you offer to new expat or visitors.

What approaches or what qualities have you found useful or maybe even essential to enjoying or appreciating Mexico.

I'd especially love to hear the "and Why" 's of any of the things you bring to the table.

steve
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Read-on MacDuff
E-visit at http://yucalandia.com

YucaLandia

Nov 18, 2011, 10:14 PM

Post #2 of 3 (1116 views)

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Re: [YucaLandia] Qualities and Stuff that Make Life Good in Mexico

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Just to show that this is not some voyeuristic or cheesy/smarmy attempt to get people to share, here are a few takes on things that got me thinking.

Qualities I admire and think are helpful to living-in Mexico and maybe even integrating-into Mexican culture:

Kind words of encouragement from unexpected sources are very nourishing and surprisingly helpful.

Keeping our minds open, our eyes open, and our internal reactive bits quiet, are really good for making judgmental gunk inconsequential.

When our focus is shifted away from our own internal stuff, and directed instead to observing - then value judgements melt away, and we can see things in new and different ways. e.g. Do we criticize or react to things that are different or confusing or irritating, or do we just notice, process/ponder, tolerate, or maybe accept?

Do we prefer and admire people who react or those who respond?

It can take surprising courage to reject our own (or other's) judgmental gunk and instead replace it with thoughtful or kind responses and replies. Many Mexicans quietly value and embody personal kindness and thoughtfulness.

Pity is a value that seems to have been forgotten in modern society. While in Mexico and on the internet, it becomes apparent that there are people who really do need our pity.

Compassion is another value that seems to have been forgotten in modern society. Again, both in the USA, in Mexico, and especially on the internet, there are people who really do need our compassion - especially as they lash out at others from their anonymous perches.

Both compassion and pity can be expressed as just thoughts & intentions, or through actions and words.

Compassion and pity are qualities usually found only in mature or wise people - qualities much in evidence in Mexico, but seemingly less valued north of the border.

Individuals who have not experienced compassionate, graciousness, kind, or supportive people, seem to have little capacity for these qualities.

People who suspect, doubt, and challenge others to prove themselves, have likely not learned trust and maybe missed-out on experiencing repeated, reliable, consistent responses from others.

Good things can be a scarce quantity in some lives, while others' cups overflow.

There are some wonderfully talented individuals who quietly sparkle like gems - occasionally revealing yet another unexpected facet. => Showing that not everyone who is different or unexpectedly talented are necessarily cheats, blow-hards, or frauds. Some of the most seemingly simple people have a wealth of unexpected insights.

Callejeros (miserable street dogs) can be wonderful teachers about what is important: especially if they have known only scarcity and harsh treatment - people throwing rocks, threatening them, and shutting them out. Growling, snapping, and suspecting others are neither endearing, respected, nor welcome.

I think it can be hard for people who feel caught between cultures - people who change cultures, and then never quite fit or feel completely at home in either culture. This stands in stark contrast to others who feel so solid in themselves, their roots, and their culture - grown from solid backgrounds - that they venture out confidently - but not brazenly - and enjoy exploring other cultures and risking getting to really know and share with "foreign" individuals.

The expat-foreigner who unintentionally makes every local person they meet either smile warmly or better-still leaves them laughing, somehow understands some of things that really matter in that their new home. Humor sure can be a subtle and elusive thing.

Accepting attitudes allow us to try unusual things and select the bits that we find tasty - with a surety that is not easily shaken by surprises and disappointments.

Accepting ourselves, our family (warts and all), and our roots, can free us to accept others as they are - allowing us to "fit" into whatever culture we enter?

Sometimes it takes several archetypes arrayed in apparent conflict with each other to help me see what's important, and realize what I'd like to choose and use on the path ahead.

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I suspect that these are all things Mexconnect readers have considered, evaluated, and savored before - and do not need to hear from me, but instead they are my way of exploring some really curious times - by talking about them on paper... laying things out like puzzle pieces - so, I can move them around, arrange them, re-arrange, even rank & prioritize, and maybe even toss-into the circular fie.

Finally, I much appreciate the roles others have played in this process that is ~ Living in Mexico....

I am better for having heard your words and insights,
steve

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Read-on MacDuff
E-visit at http://yucalandia.com

Minerva909

Nov 19, 2011, 5:26 PM

Post #3 of 3 (1008 views)

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Re: [YucaLandia] Qualities and Stuff that Make Life Good in Mexico

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Yes, they are interesting questions, worthy of some contemplation.

However, they are difficult to answer for a serial expat like me, who has never lived in Mexico for a longer time.

I remember still how I perceived the contrasts between Germany and Poland (having -wrongly - taken for granted all similarities), then between Sweden and Germany and Poland and even between USA (ok, California) and all the countrie I lived in before... since in many ways USA seemed the most different, for good and for bad.

But later I must have lost the ability not only to reflect on similarities and dissimilarities: I must have gotten used to expecting surprises in each and every country, to being more careful about interpreting in a familiar way gestures, words, habits. etc. etc.

When my mother visited me in my vacation home in Mexicosome 25 years ago, she immediately noticed - and reflected on - how much Mexican textiles (weavings, embroidery) reminded her of textiles from the particular region in Poland (Lowicz in Masovia), where we both were born.

It surprised me a lot, as I initially did not consciously notice this similarity of colors, patterns, styles. Textiles from other regions of Poland are a lot more dissimilar from Lowicz textiles, than Mexican textiles.

Perhaps it contributed to my spontaneously liking Mexico, to feeling at home there?

Later I moved from California to southern Texas, where I had Mexican (and Chicano) friends, colleagues, acquitances and I always felt closer to them than to many Norteamericanos, as I have never liked either ostentatiousness or crass commercialism: too big houses, too big cars, too much stuff, keeping up with the Johnses, etc... and all of these accoutrements seeming to be the essence of the lives of far too many.

I still did not like the conservative machismo of Mexican culture - which also reminded me of Poland: staunchly catholic, conservative and macho. But I guess I understood it better than I would, if I were born and raised in Sweden, where I learned to love and admire Scandinavian egalitarianism and emancipation of the sexes.

In those realms Mexico has a long way to go, perhaps equally long as the USA has to go in developing a spirit of an all-inclusive community, more social justice, more egalitarianism, a universal health care, less racism, less nouveau-riches "classism" etc. etc.?