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h_mn

Apr 23, 2011, 12:40 PM

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meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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I live in the USA in Ohio and am a US resident. I am in my late 30's and would like to marry a Mexican woman and bring her here to the USA. I love the culture, heritage, and food of Mexico, and I speak some Spanish. What's the best way for an American man to meet a Mexican woman? I couldn't find any good penpal websites. Does anyone know of any good websites or if you know any single Mexican women who are between 25-40 who are interested in marrying a man from the USA. Thanks for the help.

eyePad

Apr 23, 2011, 4:09 PM

Post #2 of 34 (7630 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Take some trips to Mexico - you'll have as many as you want.
apáñatelas como puedas

Rolly

Apr 23, 2011, 4:15 PM

Post #3 of 34 (7626 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Before you get too deeply into this, spend some time finding out the problems you will encounter bringing her to the USA. It is not a slam dunk.

Rolly Pirate

chinagringo

Apr 23, 2011, 4:40 PM

Post #4 of 34 (7614 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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"I love the culture, heritage, and food of Mexico, and I speak some Spanish."

And these are all valid reasons to marry a Mexican woman? Culture & heritage? Along those lines, do you realize that marrying a Mexican woman often means also marrying the immediate and extended family? This may be somewhat true NOB but for someone not used to such, things may become problematic. If you are desiring an escape from being single, I seriously doubt that a female's nationality can assure happiness and I would say the same if you specified Russian, Chinese, Jamaican or whatever nationality you choose. It is the person and not their nationality that will dictate the future success of a marriage!
Regards,
Neil
Albuquerque, NM

sparks

Apr 23, 2011, 7:15 PM

Post #5 of 34 (7591 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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And if you meet her online her whole focus may be to immigrate ... and then leave you in three years, or whatever it takes for her to be legal and then separate

Sparks Mexico - Sparks Costalegre

h_mn

Apr 23, 2011, 7:55 PM

Post #6 of 34 (7573 views)

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Re: [sparks] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Good advice everyone. I sure appreciate it. I am planning on going to and staying in Mexico for a few months later in the year, so perhaps I will meet someone in person, and see where it goes from there.

Are Mexican women receptive to Anglos from the USA? I guess it probably depends on the woman herself and the chemistry we have.

tashby

Apr 23, 2011, 9:55 PM

Post #7 of 34 (7543 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Quote

Are Mexican women receptive to Anglos from the USA?

I liked it better when MexConnect was a pay-subscription service. Anybody else?

(This post was edited by tashby on Apr 23, 2011, 10:02 PM)

h_mn

Apr 23, 2011, 10:06 PM

Post #8 of 34 (7536 views)

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Re: [tashby] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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What, are you the forum police? If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. That's how people with class behave.

robt65

Apr 24, 2011, 5:38 AM

Post #9 of 34 (7505 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Hello h_mn,

Your learning fast, and certainly picking the right ones! You will come to learn (probably fast in your case) there are some real “doosey's” here, but most are pretty good folks with sound suggestions.

I met and married a National in Mexico and have never been happier. But I also live in Mexico. Yes many will want to leave, but be very careful . . . . . . please, do not rush and that can happen so easily. Somehow our hearts can take the lead instead of practicality. I can personally share with you that immigrating a Mexicana into the USA is anything but a wonderful experience. INS are the absolute worst federal agency to deal with . . . . . be prepared to answer some very, very personal questions regards to motive, finances and yes even your sex lives. It sucks and was the reason we have decided to pass on immigrating to the USA for my wife and our two daughters. Unlike you, I am retired with a fair pension. We have bought and are remodeling an average size home in an average pueblo not far from a larger city in the Mexican state of Queretaro.
I did not go to Mexico with intentions on getting married, at the time it was the farthest thing from my mind. So we met and yes we married and I am a very happy husband, step dad, father and son in law to a very wonderful wife and extended family. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been an adventure punctuated by decisions precipitated by (believe it or not) some cartel issues, primarily why we live in Queretaro and why I have my in-laws living with us. But I will say I have been very fortunate and really would not have it any other way. What a blessed way to live out the rest of my life.
For more almost a year, everywhere that my wife and I went (on a date) mother was present, an old Mexican tradition, one I came to respect. Until we were married, this tradition continued. This gave me a lot of respect for my wife and her family.
My wonderful wife came as a package with an adopted daughter (now 8) and was close to her family. We now have a daughter of our own; we call our “little Mexi-gringa”. We met and married after some time, and many, and I mean many, trips back and forth, in Tampico, Tamaulipas. After we married and since, it is a continuous cultural education for me, also for my wife and extended family. Everyone involved has to have patience, a lot of real love and brutal honesty. There are for sure “bumps” along the road, but with much understanding, patience and a lot of humor, it can be a wonderful, enlightening and life changing voyage, as it should be. I have a real feeling of living now and not just existing.
My in-laws are the most wonderful and receptive people I have ever met. Their patience with me and my transition to learning and living a new culture has been nothing short of remarkable. They live with us in our home, (at my request) and are nothing short of saints!
I also know that I have been blessed and very fortunate in meeting a very special woman. It takes a lot of work and understanding that requires one to leave their pride and NOB “ways” north of the border, where they rightfully belong. Being totally open and flexible is a must, as is being forgiving and being very receptive to a whole new culture. Patience and receptiveness are two words that come readily to mind. Please do not bring any preconceived notions with you on what can be a wonderful journey, for you and (if you are lucky enough) a wonderful Mexicana. Just let it happen . . . . . . if it does.

Robt65

eyePad

Apr 24, 2011, 7:44 AM

Post #10 of 34 (7477 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Some here have given you good advise. My wife immigrated to the US without any problem. That was many years ago, but when I briefly checked recently it was a surprisingly similar procedure. But I wouldn't worry about it too much, the hard part is finding the right person for you, not the legalities of it!

You have many, many desireable characteristics which I will not list.
apáñatelas como puedas

surebought

Apr 24, 2011, 9:00 AM

Post #11 of 34 (7444 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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I married a Mexican Women 22 years ago and it has been a success over all. I do agree with the old adage that if you marry a Mexican Women, you do marry her whole family. I think it is also important to look for someone who is from (mas o menos) the same social class as you are. Many couples have problems because her children tend to stay her children and discipline problems surface when the couple moves back to the US. I was the one who moved to Mexico and stayed here. Find a young one with no children. Age does not matter with the Mexicana. Don't get too attached to the first one who shows interest. Its true that there are far more women than there are men in Mexico. Many of the men left after high school, never to return. And many of the one's who stayed are not marriage material. Overall, we are considered a catch to these women. But if you find one that is worth it, tone down drastically the alcohol. It is considered a serious weakness in Mexico and invites others to take advantage of this defect in monetary ways(her family). Take it slow and easy and hope for a little luck, would be my advice.

Reefhound

Apr 24, 2011, 10:00 AM

Post #12 of 34 (7421 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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While I believe one can find true love in any number of places in various ways, I don't think it's really something you should go window shopping for with a pre-selected list of criteria. What if your true love pops into your life tomorrow in the form of a blue eyed blond from Sweden? Still we have our preferences. But finding love is like falling asleep. You can't force it to happen. The harder you try, the more elusive it becomes. When you stop thinking about it, next thing you know it happened.

One final comment, you don't have to go to Mexico to find a Mexican woman with all the culture and heritage.

Gringal

Apr 24, 2011, 12:56 PM

Post #13 of 34 (7364 views)

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Re: [Reefhound] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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"One final comment, you don't have to go to Mexico to find a Mexican woman with all the culture and heritage."

Nothing but the truth, there. Besides, there is something about this thread that smells faintly of troll. Who knows? Could there possibly be more to this newbie than meets the eye? Another identity, perhaps.....one with whom we are already acquainted? Naaaah.

However, if you're for real.......I'd suggest hanging out a your local fiestas to find Latina Love.

robt65

Apr 24, 2011, 12:59 PM

Post #14 of 34 (7358 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Reefhound and Gringal among others have made some excellent points. But I do really love these analogies as Reefhound put it quite well . . . . . . “But finding love is like falling asleep. You can't force it to happen. The harder you try, the more elusive it becomes. When you stop thinking about it, next thing you know it happened.” How true that is!
As I said to you . . . . . . . I didn’t go there expecting to meet and marry . . . . . it just happens and when it does, it is a wonderful adventure. Being TOTALLY honest is a must. Everyone has a past and the Mexican woman is a very compassionate and understanding woman. So be honest and humble.
Gringal said: . . . . . . . . “You are thinking of extracting (as in tooth) a Mexican woman from her family in Mexico and bringing her to the "cold El Norte" (spiritually as well as physically cold, from her perspective) and expecting to have a happy marriage? Think on that one long and hard before proceeding.
“extracting as in a tooth” (pardon the pain) hits the nail on the head! . . . . . and so very correct. Why not meet and marry a first generation Mexicana in the USA?. Go visit for a few weeks to the Rio Grande Valley in Texas and you can meet many very nice first generation Mexicana’s in many different places. That way you may find someone who likes what you like. If you like museums visit them when you are here, if you like the beach, then go to the fine beaches here, or if you are a bar hopper then go to some bars here, etc. Many of us can probably provide you with names and numbers of good clean and reasonable hotels to stay at during your NOB holiday. Both Spanish and English are spoken here and you can certainly meet many nice first generation Mexican ladies and their families here.
Remember, you are not (or should not) be marrying a nationality , an accent or a girl for her copper skin or her culture alone, you should be in love with and marring the person.
Robt65

salto_jorge

Apr 25, 2011, 5:25 PM

Post #15 of 34 (7255 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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No matter interests you about people, you should make sure what qualities you are looking for in a person (besides culture, heritage, and food ) and what a partner is looking for.

Try to find someone that would be just as happy living in Mexico as in the USA, do not look for someone just looking for papers. I do not believe that folks at resorts are living their actual lives and are just showing off or putting on a show.

Woman and men from cities like Guadalajara are far different then those from rural areas. Ones education in Mexico has a better potential in large cities and finding an older person (30+) without existing familly and baggage would be easier. Many people leave the rural areas and move to cities in search of employment and a future.

It has been my experience that the majority of Mexican nationals that one typically comes in contact within the US are the rich getting away from Mexico that do not need to work or those from rural areas that are from rather poor areas (poor does not mean less educated).

(This post was edited by salto_jorge on Apr 25, 2011, 5:36 PM)

mazbook1

Apr 25, 2011, 6:59 PM

Post #16 of 34 (7220 views)

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Re: [robt65] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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I have to agree with robt65 at least 200%. Been there, done that and proudly wear the t-shirt. There are topes as others have said and they are mostly cultural, but heritage comes into it and even food. From the time I decided that my Mexican lady was, in fact, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my years with, it took four more years to convince her that the cultural topes could be overcome. The heritage ones were less common, but certainly did exist (and to some extent, still do). You wouldn't think the food ones would until you are proudly handed a completely homemade shrimp tamale with the feelers and eyes protruding from one end and all of the shell still inside that tasty crust of masa. That tope took real courage to cross over.

Don't think for a minute that all the Mexican ladies you meet want to be "extracted" to someplace NOB. THEY DON'T! Not by a long shot. With a very large, extended familia and familia politica here, many if not most have no interest whatsoever in abandoning their family for some "pie in the sky" life NOB. The ones that say they do want to are usually the ones that, as someone else on this thread said, just want to get there, spend the 3 or whatever years there, then toss you aside as an unnecessary encumbrance, so be very careful.

Back to that family question, yes, when you marry a Mexican, you really do marry their family. They will welcome you with open arms IF you reciprocate. And believe me, learning enough Spanish to be able to, at least somewhat, interact is probably the most important step of all.

If you're not scared off by now, more power to you! Nothing in your gringo experience is remotely equal to becoming part of a Mexican family.

(This post was edited by mazbook1 on Apr 25, 2011, 7:02 PM)

robt65

Apr 25, 2011, 7:26 PM

Post #17 of 34 (7211 views)

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Re: [mazbook1] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Right you are Mazbook1,

. . . . . . especially about that homemade shrimp tamale . . . except mine was some kind of caldo with fresh water crayfish, I have never again told my wife "surprise me" when she asks what I want to eat! (smiling) Are you sure that our wives are not related!!! (smiling) Jimena also had absolutely no desire to leave Mexico and I don't blame her. She also made it very clear that if we were to marry, that I would have to learn Spanish! Although now she is learning a very little English. I got a head start on her! (HA!!!) I must also agree with you 110% with the statement . . . . "Nothing in your gringo experience is remotely equal to becoming part of a Mexican family".

robt65

cbviajero

Apr 26, 2011, 8:59 AM

Post #18 of 34 (7158 views)

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Re: [mazbook1] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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I agree a hundred percent,I would never ask my wife to move away from her family,she would be miserable and so would I.Having a mexican family has been a great experience for me, right now my mother in law and a couple of nieces are staying with us for Easter vacation my wife is in family heaven.As far the food thing goes she knows not to offer me menudo and I know not to put bbq sauce on her ribs etc.
Regards
Chris

alex .

Apr 28, 2011, 10:54 AM

Post #19 of 34 (6981 views)

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Re: [tashby] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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hoo-boy, can open, worms everywhere ;<) When I was dating my Mexican novia she was choosing among several suitors. I told her " I'll make sure you are never cold, never hungry, and I'll never strike you." Her response " I'll take that deal !" That was 14 years ago.
Alex

robt65

Apr 29, 2011, 11:01 AM

Post #20 of 34 (6840 views)

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Re: [alex .] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Hey Alex,

I love your opening line!!!!

"hoo-boy, can open, worms everywhere ;<)"

robt65

Corliss

Apr 29, 2011, 8:37 PM

Post #21 of 34 (6764 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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honey come to our town and let us take you to the park on a weekend... the ladies will be standing in line. LOL!!!!

robt65

Apr 29, 2011, 9:25 PM

Post #22 of 34 (6741 views)

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Re: [Corliss] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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careful corliss . . . . . . you may ahve a visitor or many soon! (smiling) What a wonderful response! Brought a great smile to my face!

Thanks
robt65

Esteban

May 1, 2011, 6:21 PM

Post #23 of 34 (6621 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Do you know how difficult it can be with an English speaking spouse/girlfriend in terms of communication? You need to learn Spanish fluently or you will be making a BIG mistake.

h_mn

May 1, 2011, 6:52 PM

Post #24 of 34 (6604 views)

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Re: [Esteban] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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Hopefully, I can find someone whose English is good. My Spanish, to be honest, is not fluent -- maybe 2 notches below fluency. Does anyone know, personally, a Mexican woman between 25 and 40 who's interested in an American man and wouldn't mind leaving Mexico? But we could and would definitely go back to Mexico at least annually so she can see her family.

I wouldn't mind being penpals (via email or snail mail) with someone, and it might lead to something. PM me, and I will give you my email address. I appreciate all the tips and feedback.

(This post was edited by h_mn on May 1, 2011, 6:53 PM)

Reefhound

May 1, 2011, 7:59 PM

Post #25 of 34 (6579 views)

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Re: [h_mn] meeting and marrying a Mexican woman

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I'd love to hear why a Mexican woman living in LA or San Diego or Houston or such does not qualify. I can think of a few reasons but none of them good...

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