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Maritsa

Feb 8, 2011, 4:14 PM

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Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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Last week, about the second I arrived, I took the combi to Chalco with my friend`s 10 yr old grandson. We went to the Bodega Aurrera to do a little shopping, and got in line to pay. We only had 3 items. About 6 other people quickly lined up behind us. As we are waiting in line, a woman walks up pushing a cart with probably 20 items in it. Evidently her friend is ahead of us with HER basket. So the woman behind me start pushing forward with her basket, like she wants to get in front of me. I looked at her, stared a few seconds, but she wouldn`t even look at me - just kept pushing in, until Carlos was backed up against the end cap on one side, and I was on the other side.

I am a pretty patient person, I think, and pretty tolerant. But once I reach my boiling point, I really get pissed. And I don`t like seeing people being taken advantage of, especially me!!

Finally, I looked right at her and said, "What are you doing? Que haces?" She just gave me a stupid look. I said, I have 3 things and you want to get ahead of me?. She wasn`t backing off, and I thought to myself that I did not want to get into trouble my second day in Mexico. I thought, get over it - let it go. So I took our 3 items, laid them down on the endcap, and said, "let`s go!" The people in line behind us just stood there, staring, not seeming to care that this woman was cutting ahead of everyone. We started to leave, when I remembered we had a bag with other purchases that we had to leave up front while we were shopping. And there were about 15 people in that line waiting to get their bags. So I stood there and fumed for another 10 minutes till I got my bag. I couldn`t wait to get out of there! Good thing I had a cigarette in my purse.

I guess this is common that friends let people cut in line with them, but it still pisses me off!

I went to the same store with my friend`s daughter the other day, and SHE cut in front of another woman to talk to her friend in line. I was embarrassed, because I just don`t do this and i hate it when other people do. I gave her money towards the groceries and told her I would wait outside. I was going to try to quit smoking, but it may be the only thing that keeps the police from hauling me away one day!!! HA HA Good excuse, huh?

chinagringo

Feb 8, 2011, 6:17 PM

Post #2 of 13 (6440 views)

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Re: [Maritsa] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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Last trip SOB, we made our very first visit to San Miguel de Allende. On a walk from our hotel up to the plaza, I noticed a Gringo (American? or whatever) approaching from our rear. On the narrow sidewalk, we moved to the side since he was overtaking us. Further ahead, there was a Mexican gentleman headed in the same direction, who obviously was not aware of this clown in his sandals, earring and pony tail flopping. When he reach the Mexican, he literally shoved him off the sidewalk onto the street so he could get by. It really pissed me off and I kept watching the guy until he entered a "Gringo bar" further up the street. I went into the bar and found him and then gave him a piece of my mind. He stood there dumbfounded with absolutely no defense. Remember the 1958 novel, The Ugly American? This guy could have been the central character!

On the other hand, here in Albuquerque, we have a high percentage of residents of Hispanic heritage. One thing that I have noticed in the six years that we have lived here is the difference in attitudes. Forget the younger generation of any race because they have no concept of manners. But when it comes to adults, the Hispanic men tend to be the most polite, while the Hispanic women tend to be the pushy ones and the most rude in the grocery stores and other places where lines are a way of life. I have not figured out the reason why because I have never found the Mexicans of either gender to be rude in Mexico as a general rule.
Regards,
Neil
Albuquerque, NM

sparks

Feb 8, 2011, 8:33 PM

Post #3 of 13 (6406 views)

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Re: [Maritsa] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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Lines in Mexico are a trip ... rich woman buying daughter a bus ticket and goes to front of the line - no one complains while I fume.

People buy 5 things, get in line, and keep going back for 20 more things.

20 family members keep bringing things just in front of of me

They change cashiers and 20 minutes later the line starts again

Etc, etc

Sparks Mexico - Sparks Costalegre

tashby

Feb 8, 2011, 9:28 PM

Post #4 of 13 (6389 views)

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Re: [sparks] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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Lines in Mexico are a trip...

Yep. Exactly.

Enjoy the ride....or get out of the way....or have some fun with it and toss elbows or barbs. Your choice.

We're all in the same river. People are people, of all stripes, no matter where they're from originally.

(I've even heard tell it's possible for a Canadian to be rude...but of course I've never witnessed it.)

gringolandia

Feb 9, 2011, 6:13 AM

Post #5 of 13 (6349 views)

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Re: [tashby] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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As to Canadians being rude...many are, but they usually dress like US citizens and pretend that they are from California.

Maritsa

Feb 9, 2011, 9:12 AM

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Re: [chinagringo] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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Last time I was here, we went to the same Aurrera (where the woman cut in front of me last week), and I bought a cardigan sweater. When I got home with it I realized that it was missing a button. It was about a week later that we got back to the store. The sweater had been in my room on the shelf the whole time. I asked a clerk if I could exchange it and showed her where the button was missing. She looked it all over, then smelled it and said it smelled of smoke. That was it - no more conversation. I grabbed the sweater out of her hand and fumed out the door, swearing I would never shop there again! But I did learn to check everythng out before I bought it. This ain`t K-Mart where they will exchange just about anything!

So last week after the cutting in line incident, I swore again I would not go in there. When I went outside while my friend was paying for the groceries, I looked up at the cinema marquee and took a picture of the titles of the movies that were playing. A mall guard came over and told me that photos were not allowed in the plaza.

I have asked several people for permission to take a picture - some are OK with it, but others tell me no. I wanted a picture of the tortilla machine making tortillas. The guy asked me why? Don`t you have these in the US? I replied, no, Americans don`t eat tortillas much. He said he would have to ask his boss. Did he think I was going to steal it one night and take it home with me in my suitcase?!!! I have been very careful about taking pictures, but I am getting to know a lot of the shop owners on the block, and when I am with my friend it is easier to get pictures.

ken_in_dfw

Feb 9, 2011, 9:20 AM

Post #7 of 13 (6293 views)

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Re: [Maritsa] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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This is an interesting topic, Maritsa. My partner and I have observed such a disparity in behavior between native Mexicans in their home country and their expat brethren in the U.S. that we sometimes wonder if there is a surgical procedure done when crossing the border!

I understand how culturally the art of "good behavior" in forming a line (queue) is not in the DNA of most Mexicans. So I completely agree with Sparks' assessment that lines are a trip in Mexico.

What dumbfounds me is the disparity in how Mexicans treat their surroundings (another form of rudeness, IMHO). Here in the U.S., I have watched Mexican women casually look at expensive sweaters and tops on racks, then drop them on the floor and drive their shopping carts over them. In the same manner, I have watched Mexican families here in the States casually scatter their picnic refuse about the park they are enjoying on a Sunday afternoon, as if the trash will magically just disappear.

On the other hand, when I go to Mexico (and I'm not counting the border as that's a no-man's land of a different stripe), I generally see Mexicans being courteous and clean about their surroundings. Yes, there are some folks who are junky, just as anywhere, but it doesn't seem to be a genetic predisposition, as it is here en El Norte.

I have not a clue as to why there is such a big difference between the two countries. About the only rationale I can conjure is that, perhaps, recent immigrants observe bad behavior among other residents here in the States and think that is the norm, so they "adapt." But it's a very puzzling divergence of behavior to say the least.

Maritsa

Feb 9, 2011, 9:39 AM

Post #8 of 13 (6284 views)

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Re: [ken_in_dfw] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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The amount of garbage thrown around does bother me a lot, as I guess I have been trained all of my life not to litter. (Whether by my mother, or littering laws, or just because one has respect for their surroundings and the environment.)

When I was in Chiapas 4 years ago, I went by combi from Motozintla to Hiuxtla with my friend`s sister. In between the two towns we stopped for a break and bought some food. We got back into the combi and ate as we drove. I caregully put all of my papers into the styrofoam cup I had used and laid it up on the dashboard to throw away later. As we drove out of the village, the sister picked up my garbage, and along with hers, threw it out the window. I think my jaw just dropped - I couldn`t help it. She looked at me, shrugged her shoulders, and laughed.

When I started working with the Mexican guys for the landscaping company in NC, I noticed that after lunch they just left all of their papers and soda cans lying on the ground. We had a nice little shaded area with a picnic table to eat at. The boss finally told them to pick up the junk and keep it clean, and after that there was no problem. When I went to Chiapas I understood that it was just the way they acted at home. It was the norm there.

In the past 7 years I have visited the home of some of these muchachos, and gone to birthday parties etc, for their children. Their homes were clean and orderly and the food was great! They seem to have adapted to the US pretty well. They certainly have had as many customs to get used to there as I have had to here.

Maritsa

Feb 9, 2011, 9:55 AM

Post #9 of 13 (6277 views)

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Re: [chinagringo] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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Now that you mention it, I have noticed too that the older men are much more courteous.
I have talked to quite of few men here, (the women have been friendly too, but don`t have the US connection) who ask me if I am Americana? I laugh and ask them how they can tell?
Many of them have been in the US and enjoy asking me where I am from and telling me where they spent their time.
This part of my trip has been the most fun I think, because I do like to talk to people and learn about them.

I am realizing that part of my problem with people rushing, pushing and crowding is that I don`t like to be in crowds ANYWHERE. I grew up in the country, currently live at the beach, in a tourist area that is quiet all winter. In the past I turned down many invitations to go to concerts and other events where the traffic is horrible and there are thousands of crowding people. It`s not a serious problem, just something that I recognize and deal with. (Like going out for a cig or tasking a few deep breaths or just not putting myself in the situation)

I go the the DF because I want to see things while I am here. But the garbage, dust, traffic, crowds get on my nerves after a while and I am glad to get home.

Barbara

chinagringo

Feb 9, 2011, 9:58 AM

Post #10 of 13 (6273 views)

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Re: [Maritsa] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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For years, we traveled by plane to the Guadalajara/Lake Chapala area and the trash scattered along the highways and city streets was appalling. Having not traveled to other areas, I made the assumption that this was the "accepted or general rule" in Mexico. It wasn't until we started traveling much more extensively throughout central Mexico that once again such a generalization was false. We have seen villages, towns and some cities where civic pride rules to such a degree that the cleanliness is shocking. I would greatly appreciate anyone's insight as to why such a disparity exists.
Regards,
Neil
Albuquerque, NM

Rolly

Feb 9, 2011, 11:40 AM

Post #11 of 13 (6254 views)

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Re: [chinagringo] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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I live in one of the very clean areas, so I was unprepared for what I saw the first time I drove to Guadalajara.
I took highway 54 from Zacatacas to GDL. I was shocked at what I saw.
I have never seen so much trash along a highway. Disgusting!

Rolly Pirate

raferguson

Feb 9, 2011, 10:32 PM

Post #12 of 13 (6183 views)

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Re: [Maritsa] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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I would note that Americans tend to have much better manners about lines that most other nationalities. Apparently if you ski in Europe, the lift lines are chaotic, with the Germans a little worse than most other nationalities. The following is from pubclub.com, part of a long article comparing skiing in Europe vs. North America.

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There is order to society in America and that translates to the ski lifts. People scoot along and when lines merge, they come together nicely.

In Switzerland (and throughout Europe) it's a fight to the front. The most aggressive are the first ones to get on the lift. People cross over other people's skis with little or no regard for personal space or courtesy. The Germans are particularly forceful. Perhaps this is related to the above situation regarding lift line efficiency. Regardless, this is simply not proper behavior.

So if the Mexicans seem bad to us, we might not be pleased with other nationalities either

Richard

http://www.fergusonsculpture.com

(This post was edited by raferguson on Feb 9, 2011, 10:34 PM)

Vichil

Feb 10, 2011, 12:35 PM

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Re: [raferguson] Arrogant American or Rude Mexican?

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I do not think that you can find one nationality that is worst than another but I have noticed that people seem to lose their manners and inhibitions when they travel away from home and especially in groups.
There are cultural differences and some manners in one country are not ok in another country but there seemed to be many tourists who would not dream of acting the way they do in their own country and think it is ok to act like rude idiots because they do not know anyone around or cannot speak the language.
You can find some of them all around the world coming from many different nationalities.I bet you the German skiers are ok in Germany and not so ok in France or Switzerland and so on.
My husband picked up a huge fight with Scandinavians in Paris who insisted on cutting in front of the line in a supermarket where no one could say anything as they did not know what language they spoke. My husband called them on it in English and sent them right at the back of the line , they were young and arrogant and knew they could get away with it..they thought.

(This post was edited by Vichil on Feb 10, 2011, 6:54 PM)