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jerezano

Jan 8, 2010, 4:16 PM

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Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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Hello all,

This joke was told me by a Mexican friend today. Have fun translating it for those of us who cannot yet read Spanish.

Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie.

Un granjero llamado Chon tuvo una severa colisión contra un gran camión de carga.

Poco tiempo después, el prepotente licenciado de la compañía de transporte estaba cuestionando a Chon en la corte.
--“En la escena del accidente ¿No dijo usted ‘Estoy bien’?” Preguntó el licenciado.

Chon respondió: --“Bueno, déjeme decirle lo que sucedió. Acababa de subir a Bessie, mi vaquita preferida al…”

--“No le estoy preguntando por detalles” interrumpió el licenciado “simplemente conteste la pregunta por favor. ¿Dijo usted o no, en el sitio del accidente ‘Estoy bien’?”

Chon respondió: --“Bueno, acababa de subir a Bessie al trailer e iba manejando por la…”

El licenciado interrumpió de nuevo y dijo --“Su señoría, estoy tratando de establecer el hecho de que en la escena del accidente este hombre le dijo al patrullero de caminos que se encontraba bien, ahora, varias semanas después está tratando de cobrar una demanda a mi cliente y creo que esto es un fraude. Por favor dígale que simplemente conteste la pregunta SI o NO.”

Para entonces, la curiosidad le había picado al juez quien estaba un tanto interesado en lo que Chon estaba tratando de decir, así que le dijo al licenciado: --“Me gustaría saber que es lo que el hombre tiene que decir de Bessie, su vaquita preferida.”

Chon agradeció al juez y continuó: --“Gracias su señoría, como estaba diciendo, acababa de subir a Bessie, mi vaquita preferida al trailer, e iba manejando por la carretera cuando este enorme camión-trailer de dieciocho ruedas ignoró la señal de ALTO y se fue a incrustar a un lado de mi camioneta.
--Yo salí volando y acabé tirado en una zanja, Bessie también fue a parar en una zanja pero al otro lado del camino.
--Estaba yo tan adolorido que no me quería ni mover. Desde allí podía oír a mi pobre Bessie mugiendo y quejándose bien feo. Yo sabía que estaba terriblemente lastimada nada más por sus mugidos de dolor.
--Poquito después del camionzazo, un patrullero llegó al lugar del accidente y oyendo los terribles mugidos de Bessie fue a checarla. Después de ver la fatal condición en que se encontraba, sacó su pistola y le pegó un tiro en medio de los ojos. Luego vino a donde estaba yo y aun con la pistola en la mano me preguntó “¿Y usted cómo está, cómo se siente?”
--Con todo respeto su señoría, pero ¿Usted que CHINGADOS le hubiera contestado?”
jerezano



(This post was edited by jerezano on Jan 8, 2010, 4:27 PM)



sergiogomez / Moderator

Jan 18, 2010, 8:48 PM

Post #2 of 12 (13406 views)

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Re: [jerezano] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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I'll do the first sentence. Okay, the first two.

Chon and his favorite cow Bessie.

A farmer named Chon got in a very bad accident with a semi.


esperanza

Jan 18, 2010, 9:44 PM

Post #3 of 12 (13399 views)

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Re: [sergiogomez] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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OK, I'll go next.

A little while later, the hot-shit lawyer for the shipping company was questioning Chon in court. "At the scene of the accident, didn't you say, "I'm fine," asked the lawyer.







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La Isla


Jan 18, 2010, 10:00 PM

Post #4 of 12 (13395 views)

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Re: [jerezano] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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Me next:

Chon answered, "OK, let me tell you what happened. I'd just gotten on Bessie, my favorite cow, when..."

"I'm not asking for details," interrupted the lawyer. "Just answer the question, please. At the scene of the accident, did you or did you not say, 'I'm fine' ?"


jerezano

Jan 19, 2010, 7:04 AM

Post #5 of 12 (13388 views)

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Re: [La Isla] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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Hello La Isla,

Chon respondió: --“Bueno, déjeme decirle lo que sucedió. Acababa de subir a Bessie, mi vaquita preferida al…”

You said:>>
Chon answered, "OK, let me tell you what happened. I'd just gotten on Bessie, my favorite cow, when..."

Close, but not close enough. Obviously in this case subir means upped or loaded

Well, let me tell you what happened. I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow to the.....

Nice try.

Hasta luego. jerezano



morgaine7


Jan 19, 2010, 7:35 AM

Post #6 of 12 (13381 views)

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Re: [jerezano] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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"I'm not asking you for details", the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question, please." Did you or did you not say at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine"?

Kate


La Isla


Jan 19, 2010, 8:19 AM

Post #7 of 12 (13375 views)

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Re: [jerezano] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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In Reply To
Hello La Isla,

Chon respondió: --“Bueno, déjeme decirle lo que sucedió. Acababa de subir a Bessie, mi vaquita preferida al…”

You said:>>
Chon answered, "OK, let me tell you what happened. I'd just gotten on Bessie, my favorite cow, when..."

Close, but not close enough. Obviously in this case subir means upped or loaded

Well, let me tell you what happened. I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow to the.....

Nice try.

Hasta luego. jerezano


But not good enough. I made the mistake of just translating my portion of the joke and not reading what followed, in other words I ignored the context. Shame on me...!


morgaine7


Jan 19, 2010, 9:46 AM

Post #8 of 12 (13368 views)

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Re: [La Isla] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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Don't feel bad. I was doing the sentence you posted and couldn't for the life of me remember how to convey (in English) "put Bessie in the truck". My draft version said, "I'd just boarded Bessie ..." And no, I've never worked for an airline! ;-)

Jerezano: "Upped?" Never heard that expression.

Kate


La Isla


Jan 19, 2010, 10:24 AM

Post #9 of 12 (13363 views)

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Re: [morgaine7] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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In Reply To
Don't feel bad. I was doing the sentence you posted and couldn't for the life of me remember how to convey (in English) "put Bessie in the truck". My draft version said, "I'd just boarded Bessie ..." And no, I've never worked for an airline! ;-)

Jerezano: "Upped?" Never heard that expression.

Kate


If you "boarded" Bessie, that would be almost like my version in which Chon "got on" or "mounted" his beloved Bessie, as though she were a horse (( :! Isn't translation fun?
I agree with you, Kate, that "upped" is a weird way to translate "subió". Sounds like something you´d get if you used one of those awful computer translation programs!


morgaine7


Jan 19, 2010, 5:01 PM

Post #10 of 12 (13344 views)

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Re: [jerezano] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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Chon answered: "Well, I had just loaded Bessie in the trailer and was driving toward the ..."

The lawyer interrupted again and said: "Your honor, I'm trying to establish the fact that at the scene of the accident this man said to the highway patrolman that he was fine. Now, several weeks later, he's trying to enter a claim against my client, and I believe he's a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question YES or NO."

Kate


jerezano

Jan 20, 2010, 6:58 AM

Post #11 of 12 (13324 views)

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Re: [La Isla] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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Hello La Isla,

You said: >>I agree with you, Kate, that "upped" is a weird way to translate "subió". Sounds like something you´d get if you used one of those awful computer translation programs!<<<

Ah! Come on.... Subir-to up and many other translations meaning to move up (climb) or move something upward.

"Te felicito. Tu último chiste subió el mío." Congratulations. You upped me with your last joke. (your last joke upped mine).

Maybe youngsters have never heard something like this. The phrase now-a-days seems to be "You got me with that one." Remember
we 80 year oldsters have heard many things youall haven't.

jerezano


esperanza

Jan 21, 2010, 7:39 AM

Post #12 of 12 (13293 views)

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Re: [morgaine7] Chon y su vaca favorita Bessie/ a joke that requires translating

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To put this poor joke out of its misery:

Then curiosity piqued the judge who was pretty interested in what Chon was trying to say, so he said to the lawyer, "I'd like to know what this man has to say about Bessie, his favorite cow."

Chon thanked the judge and continued, "Thanks, your honor, as I was saying, I had just boarded Bessie, my favorite cow, onto the trailer. I was driving along the highway when this enormous 18-wheel tractor-trailer ignored the stop sign and rammed itself into the side of my pickup.

"I flew out of the truck and ended up in a ditch, Bessie landed in a ditch too, but on the other side of the road.

"I was in so much pain that I didn't even want to move. From there, I could hear my poor Bessie mooing and in really bad shape. I knew just by her moos of pain that she was terribly hurt.

"A few minutes after the truck struck me, a patrolman arrived at the scene of the accident, and hearing Bessie's terrible moos, he went to check on her. After he saw the fatal condition she was in, he pulled out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then he came over to where I was and with the pistol still in his hand, he asked me, 'And you, how are you? How do YOU feel?'

"With all due respect, your honor, but what the hell would YOU have answered?"








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