Fry me to the moon
It is widely known that the shortage of cemetery plots in Mexico equals the longevity of bureaucratic plots in Washington.
A few years ago, Mexico City officials began encouraging families to cremate instead of bury. Now,cremations are up 20 percent at public cemeteries and 64 percent at private cemeteries.
Many Roman Catholics still believe cremation is forbidden by the Church, but in 1963, the Vatican Council granted permission to cremate. Of course, if your ashes get blasted out of a cannon, you'll get to heaven faster. At least that's what Hunter Thompson thought.
The family of controversial author, Hunter Thompson, will get his wish fulfilled. The Aspen Daily News is accepting 100-word essays from the public on "Why you want Hunter Thompson shot out of your cannon." The writer's family will choose a winner, who will bring his cannon to Colorado. The winning cannon will blast the legendary writer skyward, a distinctly creative way to go. Can we do less?
Rather than waiting for a cemetery plot in Mexico, people are finding it more practical to be cremated like Thompson and are creating interesting things to do with cremated remains, or "cremains," as they're called in the death biz.
While nobody says "Scatter me anyplace" -- a few rebels like Thompson are quite innovative with cremains.
Some want their ashes mixed into recycled paper with flower seeds in a greeting card for family members. Cards are $25.00 USD each, with a minimum order of 12 ( www.creativecremains.com).
Others put cremains in a loved one's favorite place, like dropping them into the ninth hole, stuffing them into couch cushions in front of the TV, or having friends smoke them.
Some cremains are stuffed into firework shells while others are mixed with concrete to form artificial reefs. We assume these reefs are in the ocean and not in a fish tank. A special edition of the comic book "Squadron Supreme" was printed using ink containing the ashes of Marvel Comics artist Mark Gruenwald, creating an ethical dilemma for his family: Is it proper to wash the ink off their hands after they read it?
You can even live on as a Frisbee. That's what Ed Headrick, the man who invented the Pro Model Frisbee, did. Headrick wanted his ashes mixed with plastic and made into a special edition Frisbee made by Wham-O, so he could fly. A "Steady" Ed memorial disc sells for $55 USD including shipping and handling. Farina Headrick, widow, enjoys flying hers.
Don't like these choices? You can always relocate to New Orleans where they don't even embalm you. They just stick you in one of those tombs that look like Chapultepec Castle on steroids. In the summer, the heat inside is 172 degrees Farenheit; it doesn't take long to make an ash of yourself. Or you could have your relatives move you into a columbarium. That's like a condo for cremains.
There's a great columbarium in downtown Mexico City where Maydeli Rosado Moreno visits her late mother. The 10-story building has a stained-glass facade and is filled with glass-windowed niches containing not only cremains, but favorite items of the departed, including a music box that plays "Love Me Tender."
Even those alive don't have what Rosado's unalive mother has. Rosado said she likes her mother there because "There's parking."
