Everyday Life In Margaritaville
We had intended to have most of our friends and acquaintances be Mexican here in Mexico, but that fell through after Mary got into an argument with the mistress of one of our main contacts. This mistress was such a witch that she would probably scream, “I’m melting. I’m melting” if someone threw a bucket of water on her.
As a result of the argument, our contact, whom Mary has known for fifteen years, has more or less avoided us. Even worse, he failed to follow through on his promise to cosign on the lease of our house. Mexico has this system where someone who owns property has to guarantee that you will pay the rent. This is because Mexico’s laws strongly favor the tenant. Once you move in, it is almost impossible to get you out if you don’t pay the rent.
This principle of guaranteeing contracts with property is so strong that when Mary and I tried to open a checking account at a big bank called Banamex, we were told that we couldn’t open an account unless we owned property. When we asked about opening a safe deposit box, we were told that we couldn’t have one until we had had a checking account for a minimum of six months!
When Mary’s friend failed to come through, the landlady was really doubtful about letting us move in, but she and Mary hit it off so well that she let us. She wanted the rent well in advance though for the first few months. She didn’t even insist on the normal contract which a notary public usually drafts and which would have cost us several hundred dollars.
Once the “Señora” as we call her, realized that we were paying regularly she relaxed quite a bit. Now she just sends one of her grandchildren around once a month with a receipt. We give the kid the cash and he gives us the receipt.
Another thing that helped relax the Señora was that she saw the beautiful furniture we were buying and that we were planting new flowers and bushes throughout the house. Rip-off artists and such do not act like that.
Since we were frozen out of our Mexican contacts, we came to rely upon my Spanish class as a way to interact with people and this has proven to be very fruitful. I’ve already written about Harry and Simon, but there are other interesting people in our small class. One man has been here for five years and has obtained an FM2 document which gives him all the rights of a Mexican citizen with just a few restrictions like not voting and not owning a liquor store. He even has a Mexican driver’s license. When the rest of the class saw his license, we all decided to get one as well, but we didn’t really want to go to the trouble of taking the driving test. Our attitude was that we all had been driving for years and we were all legally driving in Mexico with our US licenses.
In our discussion, the topic of driver’s license “coyotes” came up. These are people who hang out around the driver’s license building, and who for a price will get a license for you without you having to take the test. We all decided to hire a coyote. Then someone had the bright idea that we should all do it at the same time and hire just one coyote. Of course, we would demand a discount because we were buying in bulk. I don’t know if all this is legal, but in Mexico it probably is. As long as everybody gets a piece of the pie, anything goes. What a convenient country! Bulk buying of driver’s licenses without taking a test! It’s an idea whose time has come.
The man with the legal license told us about being attacked in his home one day. Three guys broke down his door. When he yelled at them, they left for a short time but came back as he was trying to call for help on the telephone. They forced him to the floor. One guy held a screwdriver to his throat and told him not to yell. The other two went through his house taking his computer, stereo, microwave oven and other electronic stuff. Altogether they ripped him off for five to six thousand dollars as well as injuring him physically. Of course the police never caught the SOBs.
After this incident, his landlord installed a heavier door and an iron gate as well. Our Senora installed a gate for us before we moved in. You cannot take your physical safety for granted in Mexico not when you have an incompetent and probably corrupt police force.
Another man in our Spanish class went with his wife to where the butterflies are, after hearing about our trip. We tend to pass useful information around during, before, and after class. When one of us goes back to the US for something we always ask around if anyone wants us to bring back any small items. Mary and I asked the last travelers to bring back Thomas’ English muffins, garlic and onion salt, Lipton onion-soup, and Limburger cheese. There are very few things one cannot find in Mexico, but Limburger cheese is not available though I have searched hard.
We are in the process of trying to line up more work for our maid by asking if class members need a maid. So far we haven’t come up with enough work to employ her full time, but we are working on it. Right now she works 44 hours a week as a cleaning lady at a factory for $65 per week. Mary and I help her out by paying her around $2.50 an hour, plus we give her all our aluminum cans. Yesterday we gave her a gift of three cans of Spam, which she likes quite a bit. She had idly mentioned to Mary that she hadn’t had any for at least six years. Mary spotted it in Costco a few days later and we bought a three pack on the spot. It was a very appreciated gift.
Speaking of Costco, some people in the US have strange ideas of what Mexico is like. I was talking to a friend back in the states (via the Internet at two cents a minute) when he asked me there were a lot of donkeys pulling carts in Guadalajara. Guadalajara has something like seven million people in it. I was talking to my friend via the Internet! I had to explain, that no, there were no donkeys pulling carts. Later on it came to me that I should have said, “Yes, there are. It takes fifteen donkeys to pull a bus.” Mexico needs a better public relations agency. Mexico is not a third world country like those in South America where a two-lane blacktop highway is considered a major road. It is more like a second world country right on the edge of becoming a first world one. If Mexico would only spend some money on its infrastructure and get rid of the corruption, it could be a real powerhouse.
At Costco one can use credit cards quite easily just like in the US, but I don’t think they will take a check. You either pay cash, or you pay with a credit card.
You pay your utility bills at the grocery store in cash. You get in one of the lines with your groceries and hope you’ve gotten into the right line because some of the clerks will accept your payment and some won’t. Of course there are no signs indicating which will. That would make it too easy. It would be nice if they had a customer service center that could handle such stuff, but they don’t.
The worse thing at a grocery store is to see the person ahead of you pull out a utility bill because everything comes to a grinding halt while the clerk deals with it. Trying to find the quickest line is not possible because of those damn utility bills. Back in the US you take two minutes to write out a check and mail it in, but that is not possible in Mexico. And of course the utility companies mail out their bills all at once and only give you three days to pay it. You almost have to avoid shopping for food at certain times of the month.
You pay your phone bill at the grocery store unless you don’t agree with the bill. Then you have go to the phone company and argue with them. Since they have very limited parking, you have to line up in your car in the street. This blocks one lane of traffic and causes a big traffic jam during lunchtime. We have learned to get in the left lane well in advance of where the phone company is located.
If you use a Mexican bank, you need to have patience. Expect unbelievably long lines. On the other hand, you will actually have banking privacy, something the US sorely lacks. I found out via the net recently that there is a law that any transactions over $5,000 that are not “usual” for you have to be reported to the federal government. I always thought it was just amounts over $10,000, but the sneaky US government has quietly slipped in another big brother law in the name of “the war on drugs”.
One bank that a lot of expats use is called Lloyds. They cater to foreigners. All the staff speaks English. The lines, if there are any, are very short. They have privacy booths. And if you open an account, they will cash checks written on US banks. They can make living in Mexico a whole lot easier, and with the low inflation rate since Fox became president it has become much safer.
Going to the movies is very nice in Mexico. Because of Hollywood’s dominance, most of the movies are in English with Spanish sub-titles. All the movie houses we’ve gone to have had stadium seating. Be sure to stay out of the burro section though. That is reserved for the donkeys who have the day off from pulling buses.
Movie prices are cheap compared to the US about two and a half dollars. One thing that Mexicans do, is that they really stock up on snacks big time. They really turn a movie into an event for themselves.
There are no washcloths in Mexico - not even in hotels - so bring your own. In fact, you can’t even buy them in the stores.When you go shopping, you will see that Mexico has bought in to handicapped parking. Certain parking spots have the familiar wheelchair symbol. But, since Mexicans don’t follow the rules unless they absolutely have to, these spots are occupied by either a traffic cone or by a shopping cart tipped on its back. You have to get out of your car and move the cart before you can park there. This kind of defeats the whole purpose of handicapped parking unless you have a second person in the car to move the cart, but that’s the way they do it. This wouldn’t be necessary if the police would enforce the law, but apparently they’re too busy doing other things whatever they may be like standing under a functioning stoplight, directing traffic, and looking for drivers that they can try to extort money from. But actually, I may be too harsh on them. They only try to get small amounts of money. Not like in the US where they try to confiscate thousands of dollars because of “the war on drugs”. I’ll take Mexican cops over US ones every time.
Speaking of rip offs, I had to have something notarized the other day. We went to the US consulate expecting a little service. After all, we pay thousands of dollars in US income taxes and get nothing in return. Well first of all, we had to go twice because the consulate is only open for three hours per day setting a new low for government service. Not only that, but they are closed for all US AND Mexican holidays!
Those SOBs charged me over $50 US to notarize my document - something that is done for free in the US. I was not happy!
Mexico is a land of sounds. Each roving service person has their own traditional sound. The garbage men ring a bell. Propane vendors yell out the word “gas” in a singsong chant. Water vendors yell out the word “agua” distorted so badly that it is almost unrecognizable. The plantain vendor who sells either plantains or sweet potatoes covered with condensed milk comes around in the evening, after dark. He makes a sound like a steam whistle. The knife sharpener uses a flute to make a sound like harmonica being blown from low note to high note and back. The ice cream vendor makes his treats at home by packing ice cream into a metal cone. When you buy one, he inserts a stick into the ice cream and rolls the cone in his hands to warm it so the ice cream can slip out which he gives to you. His cry is unintelligible. I can really understand how a Mexican could be homesick in the US.
Mary is on good terms with our garbage men. One day we had a tree trimmed by the gardener of the people next door. He trimmed the tree and left the branches on the ground. Mary asked the garbage men if they would take the branches. They said they weren’t supposed to, but if they had any room after doing all their collecting, they would return for the branches. Mary promised them $10. When I heard that, I told Mary they would have room no matter what. Sure enough, after dark they returned and loaded up the branches. They even swept the lawn clear of leaves. Try getting that kind of service in the US.
Our handyman, or “fontenero”, who replaced our tinaco, is very good looking he could easily be on TV - and he is immaculately groomed. He and Mary get along very well. Mary has already promised him to a female friend.
We have a retarded guy who comes around once a week or so to wash our car. He scrubs it until it shines. I respect him for being willing to work.
We have a gardener who comes around every three weeks to spruce things up in our garden. And, of course, our maid cleans up in the house. And, we have a waterman who brings in two five-gallon carboys of drinking water when we run low. One way or another we employ people and contribute to the Mexican economy.
Anyway, that’s what our life is like between road trips here in Mexico. In two weeks we will have two friends of Mary coming to visit us from Vancouver. We plan on telling them about Mexico, taking them shopping, and going on a road trip to somewhere in Mexico that Mary and I haven’t been to yet. There’s lots more to see and do here in sunny wonderful Mexico!